You have to take care of yourself and your health, both physicalb and emotional before you can do a thing for your kids. Guilt won't get you there.

I feel your pain. It is horrendous. You are going to have to cry and grieve. You are NOT alone. Many here are feeling your despair. Maybe we can just try, one second at a time to breathe and lean on each other for a bit. The alternative is not pretty and gives us no hope.

It sucks. I know.

I am so very sorry for the intense pain you are feeling right now.
You have to remind yourself that it will not be forever. You will get through it. You have to, for the sake of your kids!!
Your kids really need you!! They did not deserve the breakup of their home life and so they need to know that they can rely on you to be there for them no matter what.
I know it can be so very very hard, but you really have to call on strength from a Higher power than you to help you get through this and to be there for them.
I am grateful in my case that I have my faith in God to help me to come through the tough times, when the going gets really rough, and so I hope you have faith to help you.
I will say a prayer for you. I hope you have others who can pray for you too.
Remember that this too shall pass!!

There is nothing I can say to make you feel better...the fact that there is no escape even in sleep is cruel. I find the mornings the hardest too, and honestly I've had a setback so the last 48 hrs have been just awfu, I am here for you as is everyone on this site...((hugs))

I am sorry. This is understandably one of the most stressful times for anyone. I think you have to be practical assuming the marriage is coming to an end.

Keep a close relationship with your children. Don't be hard on yourself; obviously half of the marriages end in divorce for a reason. Try to get some emotional support from a professional.

Thank you to all of you for being here for me. I am really suffering and atleast Im not alone....

Please keep me from wearing out my welcome!

Help Me as oftern as you can. I just want my life back
Jim

You have the opportunity to have your life back....but it won't be the same as before (sorry). You can work on making it better for you and your kids. I promise you, it will get better...it's just too raw right now.
Just take small steps in doing what you can to make it through the days (((Hugs)))

I'm betting that you're kids understand more than you think that do (although I'm also betting that they're not very good at showing it.)

I understand the pain, the dreams really can be just aweful. Hang in there, it does get better.

I know the pain. I go tho that pain every day. It feels like every morning just bring back all the tears back because in your dreams you dream about you and your special someone been back together and been so happy. Everyone tells me pain will go away in time and I bet they have told you that also.

Jim
It sucks terribly. It does get better though (trust me it really does). What helped me was to cry alot, talk talk talk to your friends or pastor or whomever. Take control of your life now, make your life yours, not anyone elses. The kids know alot more than you think they do, I found that out also. You will be a better dad but you are kind of in crisis mode and need to help yourself first. Be very kind to yourself, eat and sleep as much as you can.

Hey man, I am sorry for the despair that you are feeling. I don't know your story but I can tell you that I've been there. When my divorce was finalized, I lost my mind. It felt like pain 24/7, even when I slept.

But I can also tell you that it does get better. The kids are the hardest part, but you have to be strong for them. But you also need time to grieve too. Just make sure that you keep the two separate.

I know this is going to sound weird, but I set aside a certain time to allow myself to reflect and grieve as much as I needed. I made sure it was a time when I was alone and the kids couldn't see me. I just let it all out. When I was done, I would do something pointless, unrelated, and FUN. It doesn't have to be anything big, but make sure it isn't something that will bring back any memories for right now.
Just a half-hour or so to grieve and another half-hour to lose myself in something enjoyable. (for me, it was Rock Band 2).

That helped me. Maybe it can help you. If not, at least know that with time it does get better. You can make it through this and you will (even if it doesn't feel like it now). If you are religious, prayer helps quite a bit as well.

Hang in there man. We're all here for you.

I am sorry to hear your pain. time heals the pain. It will eventually disappeared. It might take 6 months or a year but it will come. If the pain is too much to cope with, you should seek professional helps. Meeting with support group is also good idea if you cannot afford the professional help. Hang out with friends and family. Keep yourself busy. You can also cry when you need it.

I'm completely new to DS, I just joined today, but your post caught my eye right away, because I am feeling the same way. I wake early in the morning and feel completely haunted by everything. I joined this group in the hopes that I could get some encouragement to get me through the day. I guess my encouraging words to you would be that you are not alone in your feelings, and that just reading your post and the comments after, helped me a little to get on with my day. I feel just a little less alone than I did before. So Thank You.

I'm also currently going through this too.it hurts really bad and i cry alot too it seems to help i also have anger and again i just cry,cry,cry!havin family and friends suport does help too gotta talk annd get it out it makes me feel better too,right now we just need each others help thats why i signed up b/c i also need suport too!

I know your pain, I was there 3yrs. ago. I went to counseling and I pray
and ask God for strenght, You're in the beginning stage and it's painful, it's like a death but the person is still living. Keep coming here
and get the support you need It helped me.

It is very important to take care of yourself... I found the following article a big help, I hope it helps you somewhat, be prepared, it is long, but healing from this is a long process too...

http://helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm