Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So I just found evidence on a computer that my wife of 15 years has been telling a married man she loves him and has been meeting him often. I'm beyond words as far as devastated. I will start looking into a lawyer and getting things started. Here's my question. I am concerned about his wife's lack of knowledge. I know how traumatized I feel. Should I tell her somehow? I do not know these people. But I could probably send her the screen shot evidence that I have. I know it would be such a shock or at least I assume that is the case. I see there is a young daughter too. What slime my wife has become. And this guy is just as bad. Please let me know everyone's opinion.
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
So I need to grow a backbone (or other body parts). Noted. I appreciate the feedback. As you all know from experience this is tough. Actually I'd give up body parts if everything would be better than ever with my family. I guess that ship has sailed... Forever. You know it would be hard but so much easier if I knew I did something wrong. Really wrong. Not mistakes here or there. Not just not good enough... Something wrong. Something I could look at and go "Aha yeah I deserve that." The uncertainty, the mystery as to why she would feel so strongly she must leave. To do something so opposite the woman I knew and loved. It is just like a ton block pressing me down and never relieving the pressure.
Anyway I am a work in progress and as a very wise fish once said, 'Just keep swimming... "
I'm sorry to hear your story. Good for you for holding fast.
There is one thing that I took away from one of your responses and it is this- I'm sure we can all agree:
NO ONE deserves this level of betrayal. Not a single person. If somethings broken, either fix it or give it up. For people who made a decision to spend their lives together the obvious choice would be to fix it or at least try- the in-between is what destroys families, trust, and even plain old being constructive together even in separation. Being told you are no longer wanted is pretty painful in itself, but its a much kinder cut to just speak your truth. If you find you have to hide something, lie or deceive- you probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Plain and simple.
I'll say it again- No one deserved it.
She, too, sent him a nude picture of herself. I texted her back and told her that if she ever contacted him again, I would have a little talk with her husband.......
Unfortunately her husband was in possession of her phone when I did this, so he saw the text, but didn't know why I told her not to have contact with my husband again. After all, they had all been friends when my husband lived in their State.
So, he just concluded that I was jealous, but we never heard from them again.
As the wife of a serial cheater (unbeknownst to me until the end confessions by him), I would have given anything for someone to tell me that this was going on!
So many people knew and nobody said a word!
That way he was able to waste 8 years of my life with his cheating ways. Years I will never get back, years where I could have found someone who actually loved me (he told me he never did)
In doing this, you must tell her how violated you felt, and how unfair it is for the other mans wife.
Tell her that out of justice to that other mans wife, you HAVE to share this information unless she can convince the other husband to break the news himself.
Obviously, the nicest way that this gets handled is that the other husband cleans up after his own mess.
Therefore, you must strongly recommend she convince him to come clean. Try to make her see the error of her ways in as forceful a way as possible, including threatening to relay the information to the other mans wife personally if she doesnt. Tell her you have the screenshots. (Get all the information off the computer before you tell anyone though - you know she will just delete it.)
So to summarize, start with A) your wife and B) wifes lover.
However there is a more important issue.
You have just gone through a major loss - I would focus on what you can do to understand, heal and grow from this trauma. This is ultimately where you focus needs to be, regardless of the other mans wife.
She has made her own bed and she has to sleep in it. You HAVE to focus on yourself now.
There must have been signs along the way that your wife was two-faced. I wonder what the dynamic was or your relationship? Answering these questions will only help you find a better relationship in the long run.