Hey guys, I haven't posted on here in 2 years!! Now I'm back. Trying to heal, and journaling helps.

I met this guy on Match.com 3 months ago. He seemed like a dream come true. Tall, dark, handsome and wealthy.

But since my last relationship I decided to take things slow, and boy am I happy I did. What I mean is that I've never been married and decided that its unhealthy to sleep with every man you date. So, I told him. No sex without a commitment. Be is a long term SERIOUS relationship, engagement, or marriage. Out the gate he was INTENSE. Constantly texting deep messages, asking where things are going, saying he has feelings. I told him to stop with all of this RUSHING. To me if a man has feelings week 1? He's playing games. There is NO WAY! He promised me the universe and back. Tried to flatter me with his house, and business. Only catch idgaf, because I am blessed with my own business. He would tell me how amazing I am everyday. Over kill to the tenth power. Told ALL of his family and friends about me. Month 1? Talking about marriage and everything.

So he lives out of state from me. He finally gets me to make plans to see him face-to-face. It's almost 2 month. So, I felt more comfortable and felt I established a good foundation, right? Wrong. When I first met him. He said he'd fly me out, and "even put me up in a nice hotel" and bring me to his house so I can see where he lives. So, here are the red flags. 1) I asked him to buy the air plane ticket to which he hesitated 2) AFTER he bought the ticket I found out the airport was 3 HOURS to his house wtf? And yes he picked me up and dropped me off 3) when I booked my hotel? You would have thought I smacked fire from his month, he was ANGRY telling me I don't trust him, my mom and I both said; he's angry bc his horny ass wanted me at his house. So he refused to pay for my hotel (to which I didn't want him to bc I didn't want to owe him ass lol). 

So, I get there. My luggage didn't make it and we didn't get to his home until 2 a.m. 4) we watched a movie in his theater room, I use the bathroom and its has a feeling of filth? So I asked him if he had a maid? He said yes, hmmmm. So, he has a 5,000 sq ft home. He tried to get me drunk by giving me ever clear. Only issue? I can hold me liquor, so I was just tipsy lol. So, he took me to the "clean" part of his house. His bedroom and bathroom were very clean. I fell asleep in his bed, in my clothes. He put my hand on his dick. I roll over bc I told him NO SEX. He give me 3 kind of sold taps/hits on the butt, do you think he hit me or were they just playful? I don't want to over think this part? I checked toin my hotel room later that day.

As punishment yall, I was there for 3 days, and every night he dropped me off at my 8 pm. To my hotel, and said it was my fault that I picked a hotel 15 min from his house. If I'd just stayed with him we'd be going home together. I was so upset I shut down (emotionally and mentally). So, he berated me for hours on the phone while I was at my hotel. Telling me I didn't show him I liked him, I am not be vulnerable with him, and tried to tell me he never tried to have sex with him. My guard is too high, I'm to secretive, he wined and dined me Blah blah blah. I'm trying to accuse him of "rape" what? Bc he put my hand on his dick, and I accused him of trying to have sex? I'm giving up an opportunity with a successful man. In my eyes it doesn't matter how successful you are if I'm not your wife none of that means anything to me because it doesn't belong to me and I have no access to it. So when men say stuff like this I just take it at face value and not think too much into it. He berated me for 3 hours. GET THIS, he said bc I didn't let him see me nude or him touch any of my body parts maybe I'm not a woman.