Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
After all the pain shes put me through the past 22 months. The thoughts of her on a cruise with the other guy just 3 days after our divorce. The countless sleepless nights and days of crying, I still love and miss this women so much. I feel like such a fool for feeling this way but can't stop it. She seems to have no problem moving on, yet I struggle each and every day. Its so sad!
Shes coming Sunday to get the rest of her stuff (hopefully this will only take 1 day), this may be one of the last times I see her as I told her she can no longer see our dog (Duke). For those of you following my story, you know this was the one thing still holding us together as she visits Duke once a week. However we talked this past Monday and I explained to her that she needed to stop seeing him if I had any hope of moving on, thats is the short version. She understood and reluctantly agreed. It breaks my heart to keep her from him as she loves him very much and vice versa but I needed to do this, hopefully one day I become strong enough to let her in his life again. I did not tell her that, and at this point Im not sure Ill ever feel that way, but who knows.
Im trying to get out and do more things, however I am not doing enough. Things I plan to do just come and go without me doing them and I just wind up sitting home. This weekend hopefully will be different as I have a meeting with a wonderful local organization to have Duke certified as a therapy dog and K9 good citizen. This would give Duke & I the opportunity to visit people in need of companionship to help brighten their days. We did this with our 1st dog and really enjoyed helping people in need. Here is a link to the organization: http://beanangeltherapydogs.org/ and here is a link to the story of therapy dogs: https://www.therapydogs.com/ . I am really looking forward to this and will not back out of this commitment this weekend.
Well back to work for now. I hope everyone here today has a great day, as once again I am going to try and do that.
Felix
Shes coming Sunday to get the rest of her stuff (hopefully this will only take 1 day), this may be one of the last times I see her as I told her she can no longer see our dog (Duke). For those of you following my story, you know this was the one thing still holding us together as she visits Duke once a week. However we talked this past Monday and I explained to her that she needed to stop seeing him if I had any hope of moving on, thats is the short version. She understood and reluctantly agreed. It breaks my heart to keep her from him as she loves him very much and vice versa but I needed to do this, hopefully one day I become strong enough to let her in his life again. I did not tell her that, and at this point Im not sure Ill ever feel that way, but who knows.
Im trying to get out and do more things, however I am not doing enough. Things I plan to do just come and go without me doing them and I just wind up sitting home. This weekend hopefully will be different as I have a meeting with a wonderful local organization to have Duke certified as a therapy dog and K9 good citizen. This would give Duke & I the opportunity to visit people in need of companionship to help brighten their days. We did this with our 1st dog and really enjoyed helping people in need. Here is a link to the organization: http://beanangeltherapydogs.org/ and here is a link to the story of therapy dogs: https://www.therapydogs.com/ . I am really looking forward to this and will not back out of this commitment this weekend.
Well back to work for now. I hope everyone here today has a great day, as once again I am going to try and do that.
Felix
I am
So sorry you are having a rough day!
I feel like it is not so much you want her, but I think we all have trouble letting go of the hopes and dreams we once had for the person we thought was right for us.
It is heart breaking. Be strong.
Have you ever considered therapy for yourself to help you get over it? I'm in therapy now. I resisted at first, but I'm starting to see some changes in how I feel and I'm very happy about that.
Hang in there!
Each time I wanted to contact my ex all I needed was to tell myself: "she decided to run off with another guy. Am I really so unworthy that I would be willing to overlook that? She treated me like shit... Do I really deserve that or do I deserve better? Do I have a phone? Can she call me? Does she know where I live? Does she have my email? IF she wanted to contact me she would have.... is she? NO. meaning she just doesn't give a shit. And I deserve A LOT better than that.
Be strong buddy. You don't deserve what you got in the end.... Love yourself enough to NOT LOOK FOR HER... Love yourself enough to move on. Improve yourself everyday. Do the things you promise yourself to do even if you don't have the energy to do it. In the end your future you will thank you for it.
I think its GREAT that Duke (well and you :) ) are going to participate in this! That is something so cool for you both.
I did the same thing, and sometimes do now. I have good intentions, but when the time comes, I just don't care enough to follow through. Which is Ok at first. Its when you find that you continue that behavior for way too long. It can become a safe haven and easy for you to shut out the world. I know. So continue to battle with yourself. Continue to grab your own self by the shirt and drag yourself out the door. Many times when I dragged myself to the even or whatnot, I was glad afterwards that I didn't blow it off that time.
hang in there Felix!
Thanks for the support, it helps a lot!
Im feeling better this afternoon, no more thoughts (at the moment) to call her. I know it would have done no good, made no sense and in the end hurt me like hell.
Still I cannot shake the felling of want, although Aronia Im sure its more along the lines of what you said. However as the saying goes, the heart always wants what it cant have. I know one day these feelings will pass, but having a 28 year history with this woman its going to be a long, hard road. I am going to endure many days of heartache, sadness, pain and confusion as to why we are no longer going to end our lives together and how she could so quickly jump into another mans arms. But I know one day instead of this hurting me it will make me mad, I cannot wait for that day as I believe that is when the real healing will begin.
I also forgot to mention that on Tuesday morning (after our Monday conversation) I deleted her from all my social media accounts and texted her to block me, which she did. I do not want to be tempted to look on her pages which I know I would have done. That will be a big help in my recovery because even as of Monday I was looking at her pages.
I guess all the things I am doing to cut ties will eventually help and I will be able to move on and hopefully be happy again. Right now I cannot see it, but I have to believe it.
Well work calls, thanks again everyone,
Felix
Staying busy is hard...but i wish you a wonderful weekend.
I wish i lived closer, so we could rely on each other for support. It's really difficult to find.
I agree with your decision to go no contact. I've recently done the same thing with my EW. At first I thought that we could remain friends, but that just killed me. She liked it since I was helping her with tasks around the house. Like you,I still have strong feelings for my EW. So far no contact is helping me and I'm sure it will you too. Good luck with her during moving day this weekend. Stay strong.
I'm really having a hard time today. I keep thinking that Sunday will likely be the last time I will ever see my Ex and its ripping me apart.
I'm flooded with all the good memories we had together and I just keep crying. I think I've been crying since about 9pm last night. I'm sure I'm at the lowest point I've been at so far. The pain is just overwhelming and I wish that I could just crawl into be and die.
Sadly I'm sure this will continue for the next couple of days, it's going to be so bad when she walks out the door for the last time on Sunday.
I don't even know what to say anymore, I'm just so hurting and want the pain to stop.
And/or a good therapist? This is a pain filled
Journey especially if a third party is involved.
It just makes everything that much crazier and
Worse.
There is only one way and that is walking thru
the pain, just Keep moving forward. No Contact
Helps a great deal with detaching. Let yourself
Grieve honor it and embrace it.
(((((( felix))))
I do have to be here as we still have some things to go over on what she may take. I am NOT worried at all she'd steal or damage anything, however I need to say ya or nah to certain things she may want.
I can tell you from experience that your feelings will improve as time passes. I'm four months out now and do feel better each day. I just needed to accept that I could not change the past.
I am not saying you two are going to get back together, but you can't look at things as if she is dying or falling off the face of the planet. I know it may seem like that, (or you may want her to fall off the face of the planet), but in reality, lifes twists and turns always have their way of coming full circle. As someone else said, soon you will come out from underneath this stage of feeling like you are in despair.
just wade thru the next few moments that will come as best you can and know, you are going to still be breathing, still going to have each day to live and many more years to live a life that will bring you the happiness that you should have. If that makes sense.