Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My toxic relationship ended fairly drastically on Friday night and I just need to tell someone. My fiance and I have been fighting a lot, so I guess I should not be surprised that it ended. We had another fight over some small paranoid issue that he had and it got out of hand. He ended up hitting me and shoving me. I think I may have put my hands on him first, but it was such a blur now. I cannot remember -- except that I asked him to leave after he was angry and my daughter who had come down to stop the fighting. I may have tried to push him towards the door after he lashed out at my daughter (just verbally with her). I may have pushed hime towards the door afterwards. Funny, but it happened so fast, I don't know. I didn't even call the cops, but some neighbors did. He was arrested even though the cops did not even ask me what happened. Fast forward four days, I feel so alone. No contact from the fiance, who for some reason, I cannot get over. You would think the violence would have made me realize that he is not the right person for me. Yet, I still love him and cannot seem to get over him. I feel so ashamed about what happened that night that I have told no one -- except for the people who witnessed it. My daughter hates me for putting her through this. And she is right. I should not have. I am really struggling. I feel like I have lost everything. I am having such trouble of letting go of my fiance. I feel so alone.
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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I would suggest a therapist. That way, you could talk to someone regularly since I do understand you don't want to talk about this with friends or family. In the meanwhile, we are here for you. Please stay strong. This is not a relationship you want to continue for another day. You will be okay.... give it some time, it just happened.
I also chose to stay in a bad relationship, but I don’t impose that on my kids.
Put a distance between the two of you for now. If you see each other again, just do it away from the children.
Hope you feel better soon
I'd ask myself what would Dr Phil say?
Love is NOT what connects you two, it's the drama and the make up part.
For the sake of your daughter stop....mourn the loss and never go back!!
I lived 20 some years by myself before i married, then he died after26 years, I know i can live by myself again...yes I miss companionship but in this day and age, good born again Christian men are damn hard to find so I'm saying alone and thanking God.
Sex? No thank you, too many diseases out there and nut jobs.
Please concentrate on your daughter's needs, get counseling and help for self confidence and please never ever go back to him. Real men do not hit any woman.
No need to even add to this.Love when GirlinCali said beware of attempts
to empty promise his way back into your life. All the above is true.
Physical violence on both parts leads to lost of respect fore oneself
Nothing good can come out of it.
So now....... lets talk about you If from this moment you focus on him you are
abandoning yourself, I know this and it is straight facts! You focus on you right now.This is how you abandon a thought cycle revolving around him.
YOU are what is important right now. YOU have to nurture yourself with thoughts of what you are worth and implement those thoughts into actions
and go out and treat yourself to even the most inexpensive thing or create a
bonding day with you and your daughter,
In other words this is a time to Build. What are you building? You are rebuilding You.This has to be done.You do not have to be mad or in your emotions right now.You can conquer this by showing yourself nurturing support.Use your time wisely and you will never forget this and will be most'protected by this.Use your emotions wisely,Use your actions wisely.
Your daughter will learn a very valuable lesson if you allow all your efforts to
emanate from your Highest Self from this moment forward
Peace Strength Focus Clarity Light abundantly to you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Key:Know oneself deeply.Love yourself.
I have a blog, its called 'Lemons to Lemonade Blog' on FB is you would like to read more post. I went from being in a toxic marriage and insanely miserable for way too many years to being happy and in love so now i write about my experiences; past and present to try to help others from going through what i had to go through to get where i am now.
Here is an insert from one of my post:
People often wonder why anyone subjects themselves to bad relationships or marriages. Only the ones that lived through it truly understand how difficult it is to walk away. I believe that with each cycle, I lost a little hope and gained a little strength. For some it takes months and for others it takes years to gain enough strength to realize that being alone, broke, and struggling would be better then living another second trapped in the abyss of rinse, lather and repeat.
It's hard to stay away...but boundaries right now are your best friend...if you are the type of person who usually is forgiving after 4 days away...this time wait 2 weeks. You have to show the other person that you will not accept behaviors and you will give consequences.
Right now...think with your mind...and remember self-discipline, self control, and your integrity. These are like muscles. The more you work them...the stronger they will be.
Read the book "Why Does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft. Abusive behaviors don't change b/c of promises.
The abuser has to openly and willingly accept his faults and seek help on his own. I think we all know that promises from abusers last as long as toilet paper in water.
People will be angry with you...b/c staying in misery is comfortable for some. But fuck it...you don't have to be miserable. Get rid of your hive mentality...and continue to do what's best for you.
No man is worth self doubt, self misery, low self esteem, fear, abuse....no matter how much you love him. Love raises you, makes you feel safe. Just remember that.
Take care and sending you light and love!