Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It seems like I'm going through a separation right now and I'm still not 100% ok with it. Preface: keep it real and don't cosign my situation. I was told by my therapist this happens all the time.
I've been with my wife for 14 years and I thought things were great but back in 2019 she left me for her high school, toxic sweetheart. About 8 months later she knew she wasn't safe with her choice. Dude was still the same: delusional, phycopath, narcissist,etc.......so me knowing she was making a horrible choice,waited for her to come back. In the meantime I did a lot of reflecting on myself and realized affection was missing in our marriage and I especially missed it, not knowing it because of kids and life in general.
Well she's been home since but things haven't quite been like I've wanted. We both "tried" in our own way to reconcile but it was forced and it didn't feel right. We had sex often but no emotion was tied to it.
Today, after many tears, she let me know she looks at me more as a friend and not a lover for some years. I'm ready to heal and move on but with the kids and our compatibility I feel torn. But patterns and wisdom tell me she will do it again. She stayed in communication hear and there via email with dude and now he's locked up. I honestly feel another round of pain is on the horizon if I stay committed in this marriage because "love and emotion" was tied to dude....and when he gets out I know what happens next. She says she's grown spiritually from our circumstance but if I hold on and it happens again I don't know what I'll do.....I am wrong for wanting to go and start a new life?
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
She was completely wrong in what she did. And she's still in contact with him? And she'll probably go back to him... when he gets out of jail??!!??
And when a woman says she looks at you as more of a friend.... that is pretty much the kiss of death to a relationship.
I don't know.... seems to me she has moved on long ago. You should move on now, too.
None of this was your fault. You did nothing wrong. She made these choices. She should live with these choices.
What do you think about filing for divorce? And about now living separately? What do you think that you would want?
Even with all this crap we still get along and our doing great for the kids but our values have changed. My have grown one way while hers has grown the other. I can't bear to date while in the same household. I still love her and feel very uncomfortable thinking about it. I'm learning to accept our situation but I need to be gone to fully heal.
And as far as divorce, I've thought about and so has she but I haven't really entertained it yet
I don't think your wrong for wanting to get out, you can see what she has done and what she wants from you and you know its not right.
You have been more than generous with her. Giving her a second chance after leaving you was huge and it seems she was not grateful. Its really up to you but I would be filing for divorce you have no responsibility to continue being her security. Your role now is to look after you and the kids.