Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My wife has decided that we need to seperate. We were having problems but she told me we would find ways to work on them after the holidays. I went from hope to utter shock and hurt.
She says I am dependent on her for my life. She doesnt want to be that way anymore. She wants me to prove I can be on my own without her, then she will consider taking me back (I dont think she wants to even if i turn into superman).
We have been together 10 years and have 2 children.
The joke of it I even suggested that we may not be made for each other in the past. I even told her that I thought she was with me still cuss she was scared of failing at our marriage.
Now she is using those same words against me. Funny how you regret so many of the things you say.
I hurt so bad inside I can barely breathe. Im a grown man but I have been crying for the most part for 3 days straight.
She said that I can live in the spare room of our house so I can help with the kids and the chores. But she is gonna give me my own bills to pay, and she doesnt want me bugging her unless she invites me into interaction. She wants to go out and have fun and she even asked me how I felt about her dating. I was floored. How the hell do you respond to that?
I feel like I am living in a dream. Everything looks weird to me. I havent eaten or slept in 3 days. She is being nice to me, and talks to me. But no matter what I say, she wont budge.
I dont know what to do.
She says I am dependent on her for my life. She doesnt want to be that way anymore. She wants me to prove I can be on my own without her, then she will consider taking me back (I dont think she wants to even if i turn into superman).
We have been together 10 years and have 2 children.
The joke of it I even suggested that we may not be made for each other in the past. I even told her that I thought she was with me still cuss she was scared of failing at our marriage.
Now she is using those same words against me. Funny how you regret so many of the things you say.
I hurt so bad inside I can barely breathe. Im a grown man but I have been crying for the most part for 3 days straight.
She said that I can live in the spare room of our house so I can help with the kids and the chores. But she is gonna give me my own bills to pay, and she doesnt want me bugging her unless she invites me into interaction. She wants to go out and have fun and she even asked me how I felt about her dating. I was floored. How the hell do you respond to that?
I feel like I am living in a dream. Everything looks weird to me. I havent eaten or slept in 3 days. She is being nice to me, and talks to me. But no matter what I say, she wont budge.
I dont know what to do.
Take care
She is your wife and not your mother, sounds to me that maybe she is feeling like you are one of her children and she NEEDS a husband that SHARES the responsibilities! I am not critisizing you, but your response to her demands leads me to think that she has been playing mama to the whole household for too long! Be a man,, take pride in yourself, if she is requesting that you step up to the plate and act like a grown-up then do so, it could save your marriage or save you the hassels in your next relationship if you learn to share the responsibilities in a marriage instead of taking orders!
just my thoughts!
jm
Only you know what is right for you. For me, I would get out of the house.
Be strong my friend.
We talked again last night, and I agreed that most of our problems stem from my drinking. I went through rehab once before 4 years ago and I only stayed sober about 2 months. Please understand I never ever hit her, or got in accidents, or anything. I just would spend days hung over, spend money we didnt have, and I did say hurtful things some times.
My wife told me that some day she would tell me "alcohol or me?", I told her last night "i choose you?" She said its too late. I asked her what the hell happened to my ultimatum, you told me i would get one. She said it dont matter. She says I should get treatment, and she wont even consider dating me again unless I am sober, but she still wont stand by me while its happening. I have to do it alone.
I still feel like this is all a dream. Nothing seems real anymore.
Im calling our EAP to find out about Inpatient alcohol treatment. Im hoping I can go away for 30 days, be on my own, get clean, see how she feels when I come home. Ill let you know if they take me.