Where to begin. Some of you know my story, so I won't recap much.

Getting divorced, wife is a disgusting cheating narcissist.

I moved out of the house on 6/1 and began living with my parents to get away from her (since she would not do the honorable thing and move her filthy ass out). It was HARD to start with. It's gotten easier. We've been sharing custody of my daughter and things have settled down a bit.

Now my move into my new place is coming up Thursday. There is SO MUCH to do it is totally overwhelming. But I'm trying to chip away at it. Stress level is very high. One thing bothering me is that there is simply no way all of my stuff is going to fit into my new 2-br townhouse (with limited storage space). I have a lot of music gear as a musician. I think I am going to be forced to sell about half of it. Yet another facet of my life destroyed by cheating stbx bitch.

Doing all this alone is also tough. I mean, for the last 19 years we have done the tough things together. Moving alone. The reality sets in.

Then there is the interaction. I went about 23 days into June only seeing stbx twice and barely saying a sentence or two to her (but many emails were sent regarding daughter and some divorce negotiation crap). Anyway, that was good. But now we really need to be dividing all the nitty-gritty stuff in the house, since I need some of it to function in my new place (dishes, glasses, pots/pans, towels, etc, etc).

Anyway, I went back to the house today and spent 4 hours or so packing and organizing, and also doing some brief dish/glass/pot/pan division work with stbx. It was OK I guess. I mean I hear about others' experiences interacting with their stbxes and I guess I am doing OK. But I am seething with anger the whole time. I keep everything even-keeled and calm. But I just despise her now so much, now that I know what I know.

And work stress has heated up a bit. But I guess that's a separate topic.

And of course all the general anxiety surrounding divorce and infidelity - the future unknown, the self esteem hit from all the (extensive) cheating, the more difficult financial landscape, the still unresolved financial divorce issues, etc.

We are also selling our house (fortunately we have a buyer). I have been dealing with those issues also - paperwork, fixing things, etc.

It's also my daughter's transition now to summer camp, and she is nervous. But she will be fine, she has attended this camp the last 3 years. But it adds a bit to the drama.

And one more little thing bothering me - when stbx has daughter and I call her in the evening, she seems very hesitant to talk. Just one word answers to my questions, etc (she is 8). Now this is somewhat in character for her, but it still seems very dismissive. And it's not fair in the least, but she's always preferred mom even though mom has done a lot less for her in her life than I have. Just because she's mom. And she Facetimes mom and I assume they have "better" conversations (I don't listen; learned that the hard way). But my phone conversations with daughter seem lacking. Saw her at the house today and only once did I get a good hug chance. Later when I was leaving she was all dismissive again - although she had a friend over, and that is, again, her normal behavior.

In summary, juggling too much right now. And while I am looking forward to having my own place, I am concerned about the deep set-in of loneliness that will likely follow. But it may not be so bad when I control my own environment and circumstances again. We'll see.