I would. I am 43 and many men of my age have had a previous relationship and have children. I never had any and I think it would be rewarding for me.

That's a hard one! Although I love my own, I genuinely don't like other people's children (I'm really not that maternal), so perhaps my distance from them would cause enough problems in the relationship so that my agreeing to take them on would never become an issue.

I would prefer to find a woman without children because I would like my own someday. I guess if she was absulutely spectacular and had one child and would consider having one more then I would be fine with it. If she had two and said no more then its a deal breaker!

I think that wonderful connections with men don't come that often. If you find yourself falling in love with this guy, your feelings towards the children issue might change. I dated a man with three kids in the past, and (at the time) I would have gladly been the step-mom. Looking back on it now, I see that would have been a mistake b/c the guy was a sleezeball. But, if you have a wonderful guy, I wouldn't rule him out early because of the kids. You might end up liking them, and you wouldn't be raising them alone. Good luck. :)

Its smart to know what you want. But you may be passing up a wonderful relationship if you use the kids as a deal breaker for future relationships.

You don't strike me as a selfish person. Selfish people don't ask if they are being selfish.

In this particular situation, this man has been taking care of these kids by himself for awhile, it doesn't seem like he's looking for a "new" mom.

I'm hesitant also to take on younger kids. I'm 41 and my kids are 23, 20 and 13. Of course, I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

What I'm really afraid of is that guys my age don't want to date me, they want to date my daughter.

Mmmm, tha's why you've been quiet. I don't know what to tell you. It's gonna be hard finding a man who doesn't have kids. I know it sounds bad but for me it's better when the mom has the kids or the kids are old enough to stay home alone while he spends time with me. I never make an attempt to even meet the kids. You're not being selfish it's wha tyou want. But who knows you could (ugh) fall in love with all of them. If he talks about his kids a lot then he has intentions for you to meet them someday, which would mean he might be looking for something serious. Otr than that you might just want to have fun. (subliminal messaging) slow down.

It is never selfish to truly know yourself and what you are willing and able to give.
It would be selfish to jump into a relationship having never asked yourself the question, Am I up for this? and then finding out the answer is no. Leaving a trail of broken hearts (including little hearts) behind.

It is okay to say you don't want to raise more children.

For the right person? You bet.
But I'm also 32, no kids, with fertility issues.

You can keep the younger barbie dolls....Way to much drama there. I wouldn't date anyone under 25 because women younger than that aren't sure what they want out of life (just my experience).

I can understand that you're in a different place in your life and don't want to "go backwards" so to speak. Every time I hear a baby cry in the children's department where I work I think, man, am I glad that's not me anymore! But you may feel differently if you fall in love. Love can overcome a lot of things. I wish you all the best!

I don't think there is anything wrong with how you feel. You did say it is just new, my take personally are you ready to jump into a serious relationship? If so then yes you might want to take a step back if this isn't what you are looking for. However if you are just interested in dating, well then just appreciate his company for what it is not for what it could be. That being said, I know for myself I won't limit myself to be with a man with or without children. I think once you reach a certain age and being single most other singles do have children. You never know though if you put too much thought onto that you might be cheating yourself out of a possibly great relationship. Good luck and keep us posted. :)

Don't worry Jac Jac, I am not getting ahead of my self. It just made me think when he told me he had young kids. He is not looking for a Mom for his boys he does fine on his own with the kids, always has. We are not even really dating, just talking we are both very busy, only been out once, just brought up the whole kid issue. Most guys I go out with have grown kids so it had not really ever been an issue. He is mature beyond his 38 years because he has taken on the full responsibility of the kids. I have no idea if "we" will turn into anything or not, wayyyyy tooo soooon to tell! I stated a new job that is why I have been MIA, no DS at the new JOB! Miss you guys

My son is 20, so I've given this some thought. I love children, can't have, and don't want to have, any more of my own.

If I found an incredible man that I loved and that loved me, I think I would be OK with him having kids.

I don't think wanting someone without kids is selfish. If you don't want little ones to take care of, it's less selfish to be upfront about that, than to try and fake it.

Heave, my daughter has got it going on. She's smart, wicked sense of humor, cute as hell, big boobs, way more mature than her mother, great self-esteem, financially wise, and very kind.

Of course, most people can't get past the boobs...

Yes.

Southern, Yes??? Yes, what???