we slept in separate beds, but not because of fighting, but because I snored while pregnant. And later, because my ex didn't want to be bothered by the night feedings.

I am going to bed everyone have a nice night.

the couch. yes. i had forgotten about that. yep. my exhusband slept on the couch a lot too. sometimes i think thats why he bought a bigger couch (i just had a love seat because of the size of the apartment) so he could have somewhere to sleep besides with me.

you know, because i saw him usually 2 days out of the month.

gosh! i am so bitter. why did i ever get married. i hate this.

same here...

Hate the silent treatment. Hate couch sleeping. Both make me die inside a little every time. I haven't sat on my big couch since he left and I keep throwing things on it so no one else can either. Every time I look at it I see him sitting/sleeping there. :(

I'm bitter too Iloverufus...it's just snuck up on me over the last few days. Bitter and deeply, deeply sad.

Namaste, and others...I just want to ask If any of you are christian, and follow the order of how to make a marriage work by putting God first, then spouse, then kids , the job?
Someone has to start first, Have any of you lately prayed together with your husband or even by yourself for you husband? I am just asking? Have any of you taken the time to start from here and now seeking god's will for your life first?
I would be interested to know if you did this and honestly put an effort today towards this would you be able to save your marriage? Talk to him/her and go from her no more blame or problems being thrown in each others face..just start from here , except if the other spouse has cheated perhaps..Would you be willing to give it a real try without expecting the other to respond right away??

No please don't take my reply as me judging you in any way just asking??

I have a difficult time in the grocery store now. It was great fun preparing for meals together and often guests. I liked to bake and now I feel lost. I still have the friends we had together, which tells me they knew how he was but we never mentioned it when I was dating my ex-N. They must have seen the distant look in my eyes - my personality lost in a struggle to find love from an alcoholic.

I am forcing myself these past few days, to remember how he would tell me I had no common sense and never listened to him. What the heck - never heard a man talk to a woman like that! I started yelling back - call your family and talk to them that way.

The silence is truly difficult. I eat out a lot and try to be with friends often. There has to be an end to this overwhelming sense of loss.

Silence treatment is a form of emotional abuse. Perioid. Causeing someone suffer in silence purposely is cruel.

OMG I was JUST going to post that.

guess I'll go to bed now

My ex was the master of Silence. Not just in arguments....but anything. The whole relationship was me getting to know him really really well, and guessing his needs. For the most part, I knew him better than he knew himself.

He'd go out the the bar and just sit on a stool for 6 hours.....not talk to anyone, motion to the bartender rather than even a word when he wanted another drink. It was interesting over the years to hear all of the reactions. Most common was to hear someone tell someone else that he was a police officer.....or a Liquor Control Agent (Pennsylvania thing). I have no doubt that he's the same with her (and at work, and with his friends, etc, etc, etc.)

Sure, I prayed for this man for 10 very long years....

I suppose it was Gods will that I survived it all, and I mean that in the true and basic sense of the word. I was married to man who is a trained killer. Seriously.

I feel as if God gave me 2 choices, stay and be murdered, or escape if I could. Obviously I chose the escape, filed for divorce years later.

Looking back I put in too much effort...for everyone other than myself. I died a slow painful death in that home on the inside....so even though my physical body was still intact, there was nothing left of me. Obviously God wanted me to learn a lesson, a cruel one.

I love that avatar MT. U can only do that for a bit silent treatment. It just pisses ppl off to much.

I was the one that wanted to talk and solved issues, then became the "screamer" cause he always gave me the "I don't know" and/or silent treatment and that used to drive me nuts, I just wanted to talk, I wanted to know what was going on in his mind, what was wrong. He is a social butterfly but when it came to couples communication he failed that test.
2new - I also prayed for him, for me, for us, for our marriage but sadly I got tired of praying. He is not a religious person and I'm not sure he will ever pray.

@ 2newadvntrs I am offended by you statement about " follow the order of how to make a marriage work by putting God first, then spouse, then kids , the job?
Someone has to start first, Have any of you lately prayed together with your husband or even by yourself for you husband? I am just asking? Have any of you taken the time to start from here and now seeking god's will for your life first? " What does god have to do with it. If 2 people dont love, get along god is not going to bring them together. I am sure if you ask around you will find that parents put kids first then themselves then the rest of the world.