Anyone?

I don't feel like seeing it yourself will help you. But everyone is different. I wouldn't want to see it. If you feel like he is, I'd go with your gut, and worry about taking care of you and your kids.

There really is no good reason to know more. The
More you know the more it hurts after awhile you
Will figure that out. With rejection screaming its
Hard to handle right now. Get into therapy and
join divorce Care.org

They just lie if get caught, will only tell you bits And
pieces. If you are heading for divorce 9 times Out of
10 there is an affair partner.

Its about the financials and cover their butt when
you are at the divorce Stage. They will admit to
Nothing dont expect any honesty from here on out.

My ex was emotionally checked out for a long time
Before he actually did anything about flirting or women.
He had made his decision and was emotionally detached.

After that he started looking around and he found this
woman, Whom he is still with now, They had been friends
for a few years. They both attend the same meetings. He
did ask for a divorce so he could have a better relationship
With her so i guess a little honesty. HUGS

It feels like I not only lost him but my older kids at the same time as they took his side and don't come around or talk to me. They just saw me arguing with him but none of the backstory.

I would leave the children out of the whole mess.
They dont need to know what the parents are up
To in their marriage and about the fighting.

Maybe others with children will come on its really
About you two as hard as it is. Some people have
Issues with their children during and after divorce
Its not a good thing. Divorce rips and tears more
Than just the marriage apart. HUGS

Well..seeing with your own eyes....be ready as then you are cold flat stuck with making a permanent decision. Doubt is safer in our minds but its not healthy. If he continues......likely proof will slap you in the face. Proof is the key word....I wanted it to protect myself. My heart knew and so does yours.

Unless you live in a state where you can get a fault based divorce you already know what is happening. Do you really want to see where he is going? The truth will be apparent to every one soon enough.

I think that following him, investigating, etc. Just gives him an importance he doesn't deserve. It is not about closing a chapter in your life. It is about closing the whole book and starting a new novel where you are the heroine and he is not even in it as a footnote.
He is not important anymore and you don't need him or anything that has to do with him to have closure. You need only YOURSELF and YOUR strength. Make the decision to move on strongly and run with it. Don't look back.

If you absolutely need to know for sure then do it but be prepared for all your emotions to come out and your heart to break into millions of pieces if he is having an affair. As others said your gut & instinct is likely right on, if he really isnt working late, running errands/family tasks or hanging out with his friends, or other healthy activities what is he doing? If he is doing something good or right, he should have no reason to hide it or lie to you. There is life after divorce sister. Be strong & courageous.

I don't think it will help get the hurt out. I agree with lifeafterdivorce- I think it will make it worse. Maybe it's different for men but knowing my ex is with someone else is heartbreaking enough. Seeing it in person would break me apart.

I do understand your need to know, to have that proof. You may feel that having proof will compel you to move forward and make some of the hard decisions more easily. That may be. If you do decide to follow him, it may not be as easy as you think. You may have to devote lots of time and attention to this, and who will be watching the kids (if they're small) while you're sleuthing? How would you feel if he saw you following him? Like someone said previously, he may just deny everything anyway, and you may never get what you're looking for.

In my case, going back 29 years ago, just after we were married, my husband spent more nights out than he did in. He wouldn't call me at work and say he'd be home late from work, he just wouldn't show up. I was left wondering and insecure. I wanted to know what he was doing (imagine that!) and late in the evening when he came home or the next day he was always vague or said he was at the bar. A couple of time I did go to the bar parking lot, and sure enough there was his car. Now I don't know what he was doing inside, but seeing that drinking was more important that communicating with his new bride was the biggest red flag ever. I was 25 and stupid and I ignored it.