She must be one beautiful, sexual woman to drive the OP this obsessively nuts.

Absolutely get what you're feeling I had the same fixation I wish I could say if that's better I'm not sure if it does or if simply you become acclimated to the pain and it becomes almost normal feeling. It's the hardest thing but the only thing you can do is try to focus out of this black hole which will suck the very light of your soul up into it if you allow it to. It's a fixation and it's totally normal I think because I feel the same way but I will say months afterwards like I am here now it's getting less worse. Although I will say seeing her spend so much time getting herself done up and ready to go out and knowing that she was going to be with another man still bothers me but at the same time I don't let it destroy me I just focus on my kids and myself and try to push it out of my head as best as I possibly can and you need to do the same. It's not easy for me to say no is it easy for you to do but it's one of those things that slowly but surely has to just get done...hold on and redirect your focus. As far as u are going to have to tell yourself shes going to have to stop existing in your mind. Seperating youself is the best thing u can do. As for me im stuck because she's has my 2 kids. Not too stuck though...post it stuck. Im trying my best. Shes out right now and im watching breaking bad for the 1st time. My guys have school tomorrow and im going on a field trip with my oldest. My wifes out likely f-ing some guy as i write this but its not killing me nearly as badly as it had over a month ago....i have other things going on. No time or energy left to waste on this betrayer. Choose love over hate. Even if u have no kids. Love yourself enough not to torture yourself over it...u know she doesnt give a F. Its hard as f but do-able. Find strength and hold on my emotional brother.

I think we all want to be supportive. However I also think all of us have the right to set limits and feel as we do. This man is in a crisis and he definitely needs help. I don't believe we need to point this out to get him out of this. I think we all understand his pain however we all also know he needs to get off this hamster wheel.

There's no point in arguing with Dandelion. She's changed her posts several times since this started. She can't stand behind her words and thus changes them to make hself look better. I wish there was some kind of timer for that.

Obsessing on what your ex is doing isnt good. Its driving you crazy. I highly suggest going to therapy. Ive started going and its been a life changer even in the short amount of time. You will get thru this. :)

First off Dandelion took time to respond and to try to help you. Give her credit for that. She did not care for your wording and just asked you to be a little less explicit. For you to now to not appreciate she made some kind of effort might just be your problem. When my husband took off I had a great support group. One of my greatest and most effective supporter was my aunt who said quit your crying and let's paint the living room or something but she stopped my pity party. Trust me I was much happier after that and my kids were a lot better off. This might simply be a difference in how gender affects your view. I know for me I would personally be upset more about his feelings for her than the physical side of it. A couple of men have posted what you feel is what they felt too.

We have all had our bad days and gotten caught up in having to get it together. That is all anyone has tried to tell you. I am much more upset about your fine I am not welcome here either attitude. This is a support group and support comes in all forms. If you want someone to jump down your swirling drain of horrible thoughts then you don't need support to get it together you need support in your pity party. If you only want people who are going to agree with you instead of trying to help you then you are not going to get any better and all you are doing is wasting valuable resources for people who want to get better.

I think an apology if you offended is in order along with a thank you for everyone trying to help rather they actually helped you or not.

I've changed my posts???

Um, no. I haven't changed a word

I was leaving this post alone and now this.

Listen dad2five, you need help.

I'm not your problem, you are. Big time.

Bakerjackie, dad2five is either hallucinating or just a plain liar.

Nothing's going to make sense to him.

Thanks for trying though.

After going over this thread, I notice some posts were in fact removed.

Not by me.

If the moderators here remove posts, it would be nice if they let us know on the thread as they do on other forums to avoid exactly this type of confusion.

ChelseaLeigh, thank you. Your words mean a lot. It's actually nice to know that you understand. I feel so alone in this. I'm about to write another post because I've found some more information that I wanted to share. Hopefully it will help you as well. Also, I've tried finding groups and counseling but have been unsuccessful. Every time I try to do anything like that life throws another monkey wrench in my direction. But more on that in my next post...

"I don't intend to try and control the response of another, " - Dandelion

Every one of your comments is you trying to control my responses. Get a mirror and take a look at yourself. Yes, you're a man hater. We get it. Move on. This type of insulting filth really has no place here and I'm surprised you're getting the support you are. So in essence, this support site turns a blind eye to people who insult (saying I'm going to be on the evening news), degrade (go the penthouse forums), and generally attack another member. Talk about abuse, I said nothing to you. You chose to read my post. I didn't make you read it. Again, go elsewhere if you don't want to read my posts. Simple.

"And some of us (not all) don't need a play by play of your sexual imaginings. "

Then don't read my posts. Sorry, but I'm not going to edit my posts because one or two people are offended. It's called free speech. The second this site tries to censor my posts I'll take my leave and get out. Until then, I have every right to post what I like. Just like you have every right to ignore me and look elsewhere.

""I don't intend to try and control the response of another, "

"And now I'm putting you on ignore, because I find your detailing a bit offensive. "

What happened to putting me on ignore? You've posted 3 times since saying that. Really, please do it. Maybe after your next response to me you'll put me in ignore. Or maybe after the next one. That will be right after you "Update" your comments to make yourself look better.