You know what, we get it. You're jealous.

You're actually so obsessed with the details of what's going on with her and getting so crazy it's becoming scary.

You should seek out a therapist if you can't stop driving yourself crazy.

And now I'm putting you on ignore, because I find your detailing a bit offensive.

Really, this isn't the Penthouse forum.

Got it. I'm not welcome here either. Surprise surprise. I promise you I won't darken these forums anymore. Maybe something extremely terrible will happen to me so I don't offend anyone else ever again. Especially complete strangers, my wife, her boyfriend, etc.

Oh stop with that bullshit. Really.

Listen, go to the infidelity forum.. Many others are unfortunately going through this.

It's a betrayal. I know. But your way of dealing with it is going to make you nuts.

Like end up on the evening news nuts.

She's winning. She has you crazy. Do you think this is a healthy way to live?

You have to take the power away from her.

Therapy might be a good idea.

And some of us (not all) don't need a play by play of your sexual imaginings.

Give us prudy people a decent place for support too.

I don't think women r into sexually explicit stuff then men do. I still don't know why and how those women can do what they do in those porn sites if not they r being raped and video taped. mostly I can only imagine they are being exploited. so I woild not say your girl is into that stuff. if she is she is doing for her man, if u r not her man in her mind then move on. why hold onto someone who already checked u out. if u really love her then let her go. if u r holding on to her then u r just being selfish. advise I'd give is work on your emotional addiction and once u overcome that, whether she is having sex with another man or not, it will be irrelevant to u

I get the ruminating... not being able to turn your brain off imagining what they are doing. And why, somehow, we didn't measure up. But, it's a useless comparison. In my case, i can now (almost 3years later) see that it wasn't that she was younger, or prettier, or sexier ....(she clearly wasn't smarter or a "better" person). It really came down to my ex's own weaknesses - his preference to live in a fantasy world rather than deal with his own issues (depression and anxiety) in a grown up way.

It truly is all about them, not you. So, I won't say anything so trite as " stop thinking about them..." but, when you do, try to get some good self talk in there as well. You will make it thru.

@ Dandelion, thank you for speaking up. I was a put-off by the explicitness of OP's posts.

@ OP, you ARE making this worse for yourself by totally obsessing about her. She's made her choice. Period. It's not the choice you want. That's sad and bad and unfortunate for all of you, especially the kids. But it's done. Your job now, as a responsible adult and parent, is to work toward overcoming the hurt, betrayal, sadness, devastation of life as you knew it, and find a new normal for you and the kids. It takes extreme discipline to push those thoughts and images of her out of your head, but you have to. Counseling could be a life saver for you. I wish you luck.

I've spent lots of nights reliving this horrible fantasy.. of him doing anything and everything he's ever dreamed - with his new girlfriend. I've been there, I think we all have - but it brings nothing positive to the table for you, the only thing those thoughts can do is bring you down and hurt you more. Try to flip the switch a little.. and be grateful she's moving on with her complete lack of caring and selfishness with her - that's not someone worthy of your jealousy! Let her screw her new tool of a 'man', and try to take this time to help move away from her.. I'm 2 years out from my exh leaving me for his bitch girlfriend (now wife btw) and hindsight is 20/20 - while he was out having his hay day, I was home suffering - but also healing, and the longer he was away - the stronger I became. The day did arrive when he cried and begged to come back - as most of them do - but is that REALLY someone you WANT back?! HELL no - take this time to work through the pain, and remind yourself you deserve better, your kids deserve better. Life isn't just about sex - she may be in her honeymoon phase of cheating - let her go. Reality crashes down eventually - I pray you're far far away from her when it finally catches up to her - She is not worth all the pain you're feeling, she's dirty, and she's a liar - focus on you, this is a great time to be selfish, as crazy as that sounds - its so very true - try to keep your minds eye focused on YOUR future, and the open book you have yet to write - you get a fresh start! Chapter one.. :)

I'll try to join @mynewnormal here and cut @Dad2Five some slack.
Yes, his wording was not the most elegant, but many if not most of us have had those horrible thoughts when we get dumped. He is feeling on the verge of collapsing, and clearly is not handling it well. Should he vent it all out in a forum full of random strangers instead of sending it in a text to his ex? Well of course he should!!! We all grieve in our own way and yes, it will offend the sensitivities of many of us fellow grievers, but it will probably help him and his children to let it all out here instead of directly onto her or, worse, to them.
That said, of course I agree he should try and get a hold of himself, and I think he knows that too. Therapy can help, and maybe antidepressants if you're just unable to cope (as I think I am myself right now).
Hang in there, you'll get better and you will care less and less for what she does and more and more for what you do! It will take time, it will be painful, but it WILL happen.
Also... think of all the sexual fantasies YOU can pursue now ;-)
P.S.: in reply to your question, what is wrong with you is that you feel worthless. So do I, but everyone around me keeps telling me that I'm not, and at times I manage to doubt myself... maybe they're right, maybe we're not that bad and worthless after all. What do you say we give it a couple of weeks to grieve and compare then to how we feel today? Then repeat :-)

She will in time feel the hurt she has caused you. What goes around comes around.

Geez. Not sure if I've missed something here but some of these responses aren't too nice for a support group.

Somethings are often much easier said then done and we often think with our hearts and not our heads. Cut the guy some slack.

@Dandelion - agreed. i feel his pain though. may be he needs to be less explicit.

I'm feeling his wife's pain.

I've dealt with men who can't cope with any slight to their fragile ego, and it's ended with retraining orders and arrests.

I guess if a woman is feeling these insecurities, they are victims, and if it's a man, they are just stalkers.

@Dandelion - it sounds like you already made up your mind. so i am not going to convince you other wise, i just want to say though as a man, I understand how he feels, and he has support from me. and apparently a few others, too.

People can support or not, it's their choice.

I don't intend to try and control the response of another, and I'd appreciate it if the courtesy was returned.

I agree with Dandelion. Are we supposed to support his fantasies of his wife with another man. I think everyone has tried to be supportive. It seems to me he just wants to paint her as a slut and that is his obsession.