Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
SO i had all I could on may the 10, 2019, and broke up with her in the 13th. Yes by phone due to living 45 miles apart.
She is a divorcee, of two and a half years. Supposely he was abusive. They have a kid. I came into the picture 6 months after the divorce. after 6 months we became a couple, we were both seeing other people before hand. I cut everyone off all my other FWBs.
5 months in he gets hurt goes to the ER, she goes to him... the ER is in my town, not hers she didnt see me at all that day. We fight about it the next day. I stasted if she wants to take care of him then we needed to end. He spend thanksgiving and Xmas with her family. January we came back from a date and he was watching the baby. She told me to leave and wait until he left...i drove home, we fought and then broke up in Febuary. Later she tells me she was with another guy the night we broke up. He learns he has a terminal kidney disease. Still smokes and drinks to this day. 5/2019
She came back asking for me to stay with her to be FWB... mistake... maybe.
She dates around, as do I. we get serious again in august 2018, telling everyone...
The Ex shows up for her mothers birthday party bringing the gaint birthday cake, they pal around alot that night...
The Ex has thankgiving with her family... i show up just in time for dinner... but have to sit on the oppisite side of the table.
The EX has XMas with her family. i show up in time for dinner, and they sit next to each other.
During the months that follow:
He spends easter with us at her parents house.
He is invited to her mothers day cook out, only family was there.
when he is at her house he eats dinner with her, bringing it, or she cooks it. i ask about it she lies.
He showers there, does laundry there. i ask about it she lies.
He watchs games there. i ask about it she lies.
The relationship hits a wall. She lets him stay over and lies about it. She calls and texts him i ask about it she lies.
We fight about it she comes clean I learn he supposely gave her a STD while they were married, or the other guy did....
i learn she has been giving him money, meeting him for dinners, letting him hang out at her work. Doing medical paperwork for him, running him around town. Having family get togethers at her sistes and parents with him there and not me.
I break it out with her, she cries, begs, pleads, with me to talk it out.... calls, text, emails, i do not respond.
She shows up at my place on my birthday only because she was in town with her dad. Wants to talk, hug and kiss it out.... i shut the door and walked away.
she continues to email me how she is hurting. i continue to add emails to block.
she continues to call. i continue to block new numbers.
Last voice mail 2 weeks ago begs me to talk to her adn work it out, she is hurting... i block the new number and ad att call protect to my phone. no VMs allowed by blocked calls.
Yes i still hurt and still yell and scream in my head at her for the lies... Yes my heart still aches for love.
But i am trying to stay strong and heal myself from this all.
Its only been 6 weeks... yes when i look at other women i still feel like i am cheating... i know i am still weak for her... or the feeling of her.
I go out into public a much as possible, to help the healing process.
The things that sucks is my EX and her family are really close to my family.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
When I read your story...all I could think was...he's being used. Clearly from what you wrote, she had and still has feelings for her ex...and it seems she might have used you to make him jealous.
I think if I was with someone else, there would be no f*&^%())&^% way that my ex would still be invited to have family holidays with my family.
I think sometimes when people break up...especially from marriages...instead of taking time alone and healing their issues...they just look for someone else to keep them company to help with the pain and secretly still pine for their ex.
I'm sorry you are going thru this...and it seems like you invested alot in this woman...and hey...if everything you wrote is true...her behavior is very self centered...and not much regards to your feelings.
I know it hurts...and you seem to know how to get over this...as you're being strong and enforcing no contact.
Sending you empathy!
Good for you for breaking it off. Stay strong. You deserve better. You will find better. You don't want to be second choice.
But people need to understand that when you have a child with someone, it's not just an ex, there's co-parenting to be done, and some families choose to keep both parents in holiday situations....its becoming pretty normal if everyone gets along as it's best for the child.
Not that it sounds like this was all that was going on in your situation.
But...she should NEVER lie about it. The lying is what I see as the main problem here. Once or twice...over small things...okay. But repeatedly lying...tends to be a red flag character trait.
This should all be above board and the adults need to act like adults. (Oh and dad's don't "babysit"...they parent their own kids.)
She showed up at my place, and had one of her female friends calling and texting me to talk to my EX. I dont like her friend because she hangs around married men and has sex with them. She was Blah blah blah ...
since my EX could see me outside I talked to her...
She say I love yous, miss yous, need yous, she looks rough... I'm annoyed she is at my place again. She is begging me and pleading with me. She is repeatedly lying,, never showed remorse, never asked how I was doing. I asked how could she want a man(her EX) who was so abusive on drugs and sleeping around to be around her or her daughter unsupervised. She said she wants her daughter to have a father figure. She belittle all the things she was doing for him. I asked her to name one thing she did for me in the 2.5 years, she could not, then i asked her to name all the things i did for her, the list was never ending.
I told her to go get help and heal herself, she cried and begged me to go with her. She asked what if she heals and gets better and I move on. I finally go inside and close the door. she shake my gate trying to get in.... but leaves.
Yes she is narcissistic, I know this now.
As I ask my family for help, i am informed that her EX got kicked out of his place and has been living with her for a week now.
I fear the mind of a narcissist, and the actions they take.
I still pray, read and have to focus on myself and the healing I need.
I say this so others can know they are not alone in events like this.
You do have the right to get on with your life and have some peace of mind. She's acting like a child.
One thing I learned is that I feel ashamed and embarrass that it did not work out.
I am still working on getting over that it did not workout, and it not a representative of me or my level of commitment.
I can not fix others, i can only fix myself and be a stronger wiser person