Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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shaking so bad

imiru
imiru

my ex just pulled a stupid stunt. Once again he asked a friend to deliever a message to me asking for the $3000 he gave me in order to move back home and take care of some bills about a year ago. When I told him back then it was too much to be a gift we both decided that I would pay him back once I got a steady job. The fact that he cant call me or email me is pretty low especially when this is a serious matter that is between me and him and does not require a third person. I'm so angry and upset that he's still using other people to talk for him and that he still effects me this way. I didnt want to do it but I had to ask our friend to deliver a message back saying either he contacts me himself or he's not getting anything back. I'm done playing by his childish rules and when he's ready to grow up I'll be here and I'm willing to pay him back somehow if it means he'll disapear for good this time.

jojored
jojored
Absolutely! He needs to contact you so you can work out the details of the repayment, it's that simple. If he doesn't have the wherewithall to call you, then he's out that money, isn't he. This would stand up in court, too, should he decide to take you to small claims court. This poor friend can't be the go-between.
Ounnah
Ounnah
Though if you weren't interested.in playing games, you should just forward the money and end it at that, rather than using the third party around again.
imiru
imiru
I dont have it all right now since I'm broke as a joke. I want to pay him back but it will have to be in small payments every month. Trust me if I could just pay him back all of it I would have a while ago when we first broke up so I would never have to hear from him again.
drgnlvr
drgnlvr
If he can't have the kahunas to speak to you directly than in my opinion he is merely using someone else to try to boost his ego an make you look bad. I would tell him if he wants any $ then contact you directly, not use a go between. That is the act of a coward and as I said telling the go between person whatever to make you look bad. He should man up and deal with you directly which you already indicated as well. Stand your ground. After all, HE wants something. Make him man up and deal with you personally.
11Christmases
11Christmases
I agree with above. He wants to make himself look good to the third party by making you look bad. My ex does the same thing whenever he owes me money for kids' activities. He won't pay me directly, when I present him with receipts showing that I paid. He never pays half like he is supposed to, according to the court order. But he'll pay a little, when he knows ahead of time, whom I'll be paying. He wants to look good in front of them. This is a game. I am glad you are refusing to play.