What is this sex with ex you speak off is this some kind of mythical event. Did not have much sex before she was an ex why would I want to go there now, it was never that good. Would not touch her with a ten foot pole, yuck.

Ok....here's the thing. It happened last Friday night & I initiated it. It was really awkward at first with both of us wondering whether or not to go through with it. I was the one who finally said "let's do it!" It was great but we had had a really good sexual relationship for the last 6 months we were together. I will admit that immediately following I was a bit emotional but not in the way I thought I would be. It was more of a sadness that it's gone & I feel really bad for him because even though he was the one who chose to leave, he is even lonlier than I am. I have my whole family & friends rallying around me. He has a few "friends" but no one that he really could confide in. His entire family are in South Africa & he is here in Canada. I realized that I do still care very deeply for him & miss "us" terribly but I feel good on my own now. I am past the hurt, depressed, cying thing now (I think!). I have made plans for the future & set goals for myself that already do not include him.....The next day I felt triumphant & free because I no longer feel the rejection as deeply as before. i dont think he left because of me, I think he left because he is majorly F***ed up.....I dont know if this was a good idea or not & maybe at some time I will feel regret but for now I feel very confident in myself & very satisfied sexually at least for the time being. Will I choose to do it again, I'm not sure.....

thats a step in the wrong direction. jfc. there are millions of other people to have sex with. i dont know why would anyone even concider the ex...

I have mixed opinions on this. I would "do it" if given the opportunity, but I DO think it may hinder the healing. Especially when the spouse is still determined to get a divorce afterwards.

Pam everyone's situation is different, what works for you may not work for others.
If you can handle it, than go for it. And it sounds like you have the right frame of mind.
Don't put your expectations high, than you won't be let down.

I say don't do it it's not worth it and he'll proably make you feel crappy about. I wouldn't do it even if he wanted to, he's another person I'm not interested in that way. Don't do it.

I won't advocate it simply because it worked for me but when you've been married for years and haven't had sex with anyone else..it's easy to satify yourself with the person who's been with you already. Going out and getting laid is not as easy as it sounds. Do you have an awkward moment with a stranger? Doing it with the stbx is not cheating that's for sure. It's not easy to be with someone else.

I've done it for six years. I thought that we still loved each other and that someday he would come back. Of course it was great, but it always was. I just cut the ties last week. I asked him to go to a company dinner with me and he refused. He always refused to go places with me. I finally came to the realization that he didn't love me, and he doesn't want a reconciliation. He just wants sex whenever the need requires it. How stupid I was. I just hope that I can keep this feeling going. I don't want to be used by him again. It went on for entirely too long.

Never.. god knows where that thing has been.. I shutter to think about it..had to get myself fully tested.. came clean but No never... god no.... yuck

If you are having sex with the guy, you're not letting go... Whether you like it or not there is an emotional component to having sex with someone. So someone will get hurt in the process.

NO WAY JOSE!!!! I believe that once you break up, you should not even come in contact with that person for a very good while. You need time to work on letting go and with him constantly being there, will only make it so much harder in the long run. You will find yourself regreting it, trust me!!

Oh god no I couldn't stand to have him touch me when I lived there but I sure feel like I'm getting screwed now.