I'd have to say don't do it. For this older man sex and Intimacy are one in the same they can't be seperated. Being intimate with her would rip my heart right out of my chest.

First of all, I don't see it happening with my stbx. Although, I must admit to having dreamt about, and perhaps still do every now and then. But, if it were a possibility, I can't see it in aiding much. Rob.

Male or Female-If you can't separate out the emotional side Don't Do It. It will totally F with your head.

I played that game with my first ex for 2 years. Always thinking that he would eventually come back. I was young and Stupid, he was older and Not Stupid.

This stbx thought that there would be whatever the Hell it was that had gone on...and a Huge Hell No. I am so far out of range now that I can finally have my pat on the back and know that I really Made It OUT!!!

Think...Someone has filed for a Divorce from you, or Cheated on you-so you are divorcing Them...you want to crawl in Bed with THAT?

I would agree with the others here and say don't do it.

This was never an issue for me after the divorce ... actually, for the 8 months before the divorce was final as well. Sex had become so unfulfilling in my marriage that the thought of having sex with her EVER again was VERY unappealing.

speaking from experience. It can only hinder the process and at the same time jeapordize your moving on. It is a bad idea in my opinion.

Well I just had sex with mine on Sunday. I look at it as me getting what I NEED. As long as you can keep it seperate...but use protection. Once mone moves out I would like to say that I won't do it, but I have needs.

I'd say don't do it at all. When divorce time comes, they will ask the question, when did you last cohabitate? And that includes having sex with them if you don't live under the same roof. Just my own opinion.

Maybe I am in a different stage but right now just looking at him pisses me off not turn me on. I hate the sight of him. maybe God's way of knowing my limits but to be honest, I will pass.

Did it too, NOT a good idea. Unless there is a reconcilliation of some sort in the works, it's just going to hurt one of you.

I say, do what you think feels right, regardless. It could be complicated if one or the other does not know how to let go when it's necessary. If that's the case, be careful.

I sort of wish this were a possibility now: so that I could reject HIM. Right after he left me, I had wished for it too--I thought might make him change his mind. But he told me I was disgusting and ugly.

Even if he had been interested, I can't imagine doing anything but crying and being filled with incredible sadness at the state of our broken relationship afterwards. Why put myself through that, really?

Hell no, let you tell you my story, stay away from him! This will only open the door for him to use you (visa versa) for more pain. The addiction doesn't end. If sex brings you back...it's about only SEX. What should bring you back 2gether is spiritually connecting. Okay, so I did it. that's how I know. I let him in, instead of closing the door to heal. He didn't know what he wanted, but knew he loved to frck me, but the next day NOTHING. no hugging, no acknowledge of me as a person. this hurt more. knowing you are nothing more than a few hours. He felt shame, because he knew what he was doing. satisfying his addiction to frck me. This lead to more hate. You hope that you can open up for just that moment for the hope that maybe someday he will come back, but if it takes sex to get him back...he's a low low man. and you tear yourself open to humiliation...unless! you can shut off everything you feel emotionally about that person. That leads to just playing each other. Trust me...it will bring so mch more pain than moving on.

i have had a hard time separating "making love" with him from simple...f--king.

sorry to phrase it that way, but it is what it is.

my heart was still attached -still is attached. so for me, the act of being intimate with him has done a bit more harm than the immediate good.

and it was good. really really good. better than when we were together. strange, but true.

however - as jacjac said...sex with the ex is a tricky bitch! just be really careful.

ex wanted to have sex this summer and I declined him, even though the temptation is there. I think having sex will hinder your growth process and will leave you with damaged emotions.

It actually helped me quite a bit. Aside from the fact that I was getting 'some' it helped me realize that the emotional attachment was pretty much non existant and I was ready to move on. If our using it to try to keep the relationship, bad idea.