I have to agree with Bernie on this one Rman. I've read your posts and you are in a very sad place right now.

By doing this it would just be filling a void, a void that may just cause you more pain in the end.

Give it some time, once you feel you are ready and are ready to have non emotional sex or emtoinal sex whatever you are looking for. Then do as you please. You are an adult and know what is right for you. However by you questioning it, gives me the notion you aren't ready.

Take care!

Yes Matt we are all adults and as adults we make choices. Those choices have consequences and they have benefits. I don't believe anyone is telling Rman not to, but they are telling him the short term benefits of fulfilling that need could very well be outweighed by the very real consequences associated with that action.

I so agree with Bernie!

the thought has crossed the mind here and there, you know, like a one night stand, but don't think the reality would be as fun as the thought. I think it could cause more suffering if you have a guilty conscience which I have a huge one.

LOL, I guess ultimately its up to you. Best to wait until you are divorced however, as my lawyer has warned me any misconduct while I am still legally married could be used against me. Nothing is being contested thus far but still, I am nowhere near ready for that. I intend to keep my wedding vows until the day the judge tells me I no longer have to. Even if she repeatedly broke them over and over, its not something I want to do.

After the divorce is over...look out. :-)

I was divorced when I finally really got involved in something casual. It was over year since ex and I had separated and it was casual....rocked my world. That was all well and good but it was still lacking. I couldn't emotionally invest and and I wanted more but not with him....you just can't go backwards. At least this man didn't have the capacity to move beyond fantasizing his weiner. It just didn't do anything intellectually for me and so I dumped him. My conclusion...it was not right for me....I require a man who can think beyond his weiner fantasies someone with respect and intelligence. Who challenges me on all fronts. Do I miss the sex...not with my ex but i do miss sex.

Sex is 90% mental. Is this groundhog day?? I think I said this yesterday.

Jaken you FTF'd? WTF? GF!!!

Uhhh, it's great. And it's really safe.

Although sometimes I just get sleepy and don't talk to myself afterward.

Oh you meant with someone Else...

For me, I'm pretty sure just having sex with someone else would make things worse. Part of my problem with my relationship was that I didn't feel respected; I felt like I was objectified and not important or valuable. For me, sex without a strong emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection would probably make me feel all those things again.

That's not to say I don't miss it... I'm waiting for the person who's going to treat me right. I won't accept any less. Now where is he hiding?

LMAO!!! patti

Making love is overrated. Sex is not.

Coming from a gal whose stbx has been living with the OW for over a year+ now....I feel very much entitled NOW. *achem* and YES...we are all on the same page! (I mean me n him!)

them...lol (kiddin!)

This is a very hard and delicate subject to get into really. I think for the ones that ARE ready...pursue it, tread lightly. The ones that are not...kick back a while. Things will happen when they do anyway.

Patti22, I love your wicked sense of humor!!! Best answer on the thread.!
ROFLMAO




(apologies, Rman and others. Didn't mean to demean your question or the other posts. Patti just has a wonderful way of lightening things up sometimes....and I love it. :)