I have had 2 marriage breakups and I think if you can actually live as friend's and not continue to feel 'sick and lost' it could be okay

However if you're hurting more from seeing him everyday and there is no hope of reconciliation I would move on for your sake

You can both parent your children and even live in a close proximity for your children's sake, school etc

Big hug..... I'm sorry that you're hurting.....xo

I’m not going to like it feels like my heart is being ripped out EVERYTIME he is here with us. BUT my kids will have normalcy (to best it can be) and that is all that matters to be. My pain is nothing compared to them being hurt

Your kids will have fake phony normal.
Whenever they figure out that it as all phony; they will question what else about thier family story was pretend.
So sad
So all encompassing sad
Doesn’t anyone love anyone enough to let them see reality ?

My oldest is aware of the full situation but our little girls is different her medical conditions have to be handled carefully and we will have to make it a slow transition
Believe me when I tell you the pain is over bearing but it is what’s best for her in all
Of this for now
To answe you question I don’t know if anyone really loves my anyone anymore not really

We only continued that for short time it didn't feel normal at all for the kids but I know many do it. It's not for me. It wasn't best for my kids either. So wish u best.

I tried this when my husband did this. The house was not a home. I was walking on egg shells and my baby knew it. I left. I couldn't do it. He was also dangerous. Do what you feel is best. talk about it with each other and a councilor also.

I really hope it works for us
I honestly think it can of I let go of him and just adjust
At least untill I can move

I did this for a few months with my ex wife... I wanted to keep this as normal as possible for the kids but things didn’t work out... we had a lots of fights and it made it much more difficult to adjust... but maybe it will work better for you.. good luck!

MrG where y’all good friends at all? I feel like our friendship maybe the only thing that makes to work.
It was a mutal decision until we can figure out financial and selling the house.
Although I feel I am way more happy about it then him

We were not 'friends'. The kids (then 16 & 18) knew things were not normal. The youngest knew for years, he's smart that way, and it was a relief to me to finally tell them we were divorcing.

My ex wouldn't leave the house during the year long divorce despite everyone telling him (including the youngest son and his own lawyer) it was for the best, Thankfully my lawyer put specific wording and a move out date in the divorce settlement agreement or he would still be here! Now one year later I am taking him back to count for contempt to get him to honor many of the items in the divorce settlement agreement.

His behavior during and after the divorce were totally in line with his behavior our entire marriage, so I really wasn't surprised. (Dickhead) If you and your stbx can remain civil, then it likely will be livable. Not ideal by any stretch, but if you have extenuating circumstances which make physically separating harder for the kids, then by all means do what you need to. Just make sure the kids know what's going on, in terms they can understand.

Our oldest does and he is angry at his father for hurting his mom again. Our 11 year old is aware but not fully there yet
We were literally planning a vacation last week this and happened very very fast

I’m sorry to hear you have this going on.
my Wife and I separated in March and lived one month in separate rooms then she moved out in April.
Our kids are 8&4 and they seem to be adjusting. I asked the 8 year old tonight about how things are going and she says they seem to be going ok. Not sure if they will totally adjust but the egg shells were ridiculous. We are amicable with one another.
We are supposed to be sitting down and talking about things on Tuesday... we shall see.
The best of luck to you. Here to chat if needed?

When things progress from a slow or status quo degradation of the marriage to sudden steep decline it makes me fear the reasons. Bless you for thinking of your precious childrens' hearts. You and your children are in my prayers. BTW you are loved you just aren't looking in the right people's eyes.

Cbhmom, to answer your question... we tried to be civilized during the time we lived together. Honestly, I was dragging my feet to the day of our separation. I didn’t want to let my kids go. I cried every night thinking of the day my kids and I would live under a different roof. It was uncomfortable to say the least... I could not grief... we were not friends... we were simply roommates. We would not talk much unless it was essential.
Now, we have been living at different houses for a few months and I still miss my kids so much... even though I get to see them every other weekend. The home is no longer a home.... it’s an empty house to me.

I am recently in the same situation. H told me 3 weeks ago that he is done with the marriage and thats that. I knew we were having problems but I never in a million years thought he would want a divorce. For now we have decided to stay in the same house as roommates. He is speaking to me more now that he is so "relieved" that I know its over. I get sick to my stomach and cry and scream when I am alone. My 12 yr old son knows everything and I told him we have decided for now to stay under the same roof but not to have any false hope that mom and dad will be getting back together, My son seems to be ok with that bc his home and school and friends etc are not being disrupted. He said he would rather we both see him everyday and doesn't want to have to choose to live with just one of us. My son is very mature for his age "sometimes". I have been researching this and "living together but apart" seems to be what more divorcing couples are doing. I know that I am not happy. I want my marriage back and that will never happen but I will do whatever is best for my son for "right now". I hide my tears and try to be as friendly as i can with H so as not to stress my son out. This has got to be the hardest thing I have ever done. Sometimes when I sit and think ..i get what feels like a punch in the chest with hurt and pain. Takes my breath away. I don't know if this situation will be ok for me a few months from now or years from now... but for right this minute there are so many uncertainties in my future and its scares the heck out of me. Staying in my home makes me at least feel safe. We haven't discussed any dates or filed any papers as of yet. I agree with some comments that its just putting off the inevitable but I am terrified and angry and heart broken and i just don't know what to do. Obviously I am not thinking straight. It's all so fresh and I feel the knife still in my back. CBHMOM... I don't have any suggestions just a shared hell. Sometimes I fell like a complete fool for living this way but knowing that others are also ... in a sick sorta way makes me feel a little better. Hugs to you and me !!!!!