The only way to change your relationship patterns is to change yourself.

Figure out what vibe you're giving off that says "I don't deserve to be/feel supported.

There are many many paths. Some use therapy. You just have to change yourself.

I'm terribly sorry you're going through this. You're never alone in all of this. Truly.

Go out and work on doing stuff with you as the sole recipient. Work out, eat healthy, learn music, get some dental work done, go to a movie, join a sports league, whatever. Do things to make you feel better about yourself. You'll start showing the results of working on yourself and others will notice. You'll start attracting the kind of people that are looking for qualities in a person. Those are the ones you'll end up with in something serious. Those are the ones, with substance; you'll want to end up with in something serious.

DON'T press the marriage thing. Work on yourself. Meet people without trying to force a relationship (Being alone for a bit is OK. I HATE being alone but it's OK. I'm working on me and I'm going to end up with something better in the long run.) Let things happen normally, if things aren't there they aren't there.

I hope your recovery from the surgeries is going smoothly. Stay strong. YOU are worth it to make better! YOU are worth it to wait and find the right person!

- "The only way to change your relationship patterns is to change yourself."
No truer words have been spoken.
That sums up the answer I would give you in about 300 words less.

Thank you all for your kind words. I was sexually abused at 16 so i have been really angry ever since. Plus i have been battling with endometriosis for years now. I am learning how to cope and spending more time to know me and b more involved in activities.

Very interesting. You were sexually abused and now have endometriosis.

You should read some of Louise Hays books.

Might be enlightening.

There's a connection between endometriosis and sexual abuse?

You betcha! COULD actually explain the whole thing.

It's your holding that abuse energy in your body.

I'm telling you read her books. Cool stuff.

Metaphysics.

I will read when i can.
Not very easy, for me being in this mess, i tend to push my exes away. Not being able to have sex too was a factor. But after being diagnosed last year with endometriosis and also clinically depressed, i now understand. And i needed this alone time to see how i will move forward.
Today is my 29th birthday and even though i am still recovering from my surgery, i am happy i was able to live through it all.
Many blessings to u all, at least there is someone out there who will listen.

"Not being able to have sex"

Maybe you subconsciously created this condition so you didn't have to?

Just a thought.

Have a restful day

Maybe you subconsciously created this condition so you didn't have to?

Just a thought.
No i didnt, sex for me was very painful, then i learnt the endo was also a factor.
But thanks though for ur thought.

IMO, You need therapy to help you move thru this And
if you do not have access seek out a womens Shelter/
aid they also Have support groups and one on one therapy.

Internalized shame, anger and rage does not Just disappear
by sheer will power. It needs to be Faced, processed, grieved
and let go of with the Proper help and support in place. Many
need Trauma release therapy. HUGS

Internalized shame, anger and rage does not Just disappear

No it doesn't. It manifests itself in all kinds of ugly ways and reeks havoc on your body, mind and spirit.

I have been to counselling, but thst didnt help me much. I dont speak much, i bottle up everything inside. People will say that i have a sense of humour they all enjoy, but deep down i am tearing up inside.

And you're making yourself ill.

You are so in need of healing.

Traditional therapists often cannot heal this.

This is a "whole being" illness, not just your mind. It's your emotions and spirit as well.

This is a "whole being" illness, not just your mind. It's your emotions and spirit as well.

Ok