My advice is to start small. Take a class somewhere or volunteer your time somewhere. I am big on volunteering. I've volunteered at my daughter's school, church, our local humane society, our local community theatre and various community events. Not only is it fun, but you meet a great bunch of people because volunteers, generally, are friendly and kind. You also might consider therapy. This could be a good time for you to rediscover who you are.

First, you cant get your "old self back". That person is gone, and not just cus you are no longer in a relationship. Each day that goes by, we change. Our experiences even as little as a few hours ago, shape our mind, hearts and soul. So we are different with each second we breathe.

We spend a lot of time searching for what was instead of what will be. This in itself can stunt your growth and diminish your strength; yet you'll wonder why you don't feel strong or confident.

Your true characteristics, likes, wants and all that are still at your surface. As you get back out and feel better, the dust settles and is gone, you will find the things you love and want again giving you the ability to find new life instead trying to rejuvenate something that was old.

Be patient, real and true to yourself. Keep your head up, eyes, ears and heart open.

Welcome to the group.

Keep going to therapy if you are attending
To get at the root of the problem then go from
there. Not figuring out the truth is not very
Helpful or healing. We learn by our mistakes
And awareness then we can do better. HUGS

join and be active in support groups in your area. Travel or join retreats. or you can connect with nature.

I had to make a very concerted effort to reconnect with old friends. I had stopped calling a few close friends, because I felt I had the same old sad story. I had nothing new or good to say. I was probably slightly depressed, feeling trapped in an emotionally abusive marriage that no one else could recognize. After I made the decision to divorce, I knew I needed to build back up a network of supportive people. I put some names down on a piece of paper, and either reached out to them for advice (the divorced ones) or reconnected with them as friends. I was so happy that I did that, because their support has been tremendous and helped me to gain the strength needed to continue on with the process. The old friends I've reconnected with are right along side me. They see how nothing has changed with my marriage, now understand that this great guy is actually hurtful and immature, and cheer me on. I can't go so far as say they've been lifesavers, but they've made everything so much easier. So has my divorce support group, and this site as well. We're all strong, you just have to find that strength within you.

Am Stacey Bruno from USA, How i got my husband back,I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to USA, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better.

How you can also contact him below is the information.
Email: atilahealinghome@yahoo.com
WHATS-APP NUMBER: +2347067607073.

Best Regards

Miss Stacey Bruno.

I am in the beginning of a break-up with someone like what you described. I feel so alone and am definitely not sure what to do at this point. He hasn't moved his stuff out yet which is wearing on me because I don't know if he truly plans to stay or leave (mind games). He's staying at a friend's and has been staying in touch with me the last few days until last night. MIA, phone turned off. Didn't get any sleep. I'm already feeling lost and out of touch. Lost contact with most of my friends over the years and am trying to reconnect but it's hard because everyone has a family or they have other things going on, or are in another state. I thought about volunteering like samantha recommended but I feel like I would just break down and cry all the time. I hate being alone and feeling like I have no one to talk to. When I was in 8th grade my parents moved me from CA to AZ and I never really made super close friends. I plan to travel to CA next week to get some beach time but I'm afraid I'll just feel alone there too. I'll be meeting up with an old friend, but may just be coffee and then I'm alone for 3 days.

Thank you to everyone for their kind advice. I have been in therapy for approx 8 months now and I do feel like I have benefitted from this. Reading books on self help and surviving narc partners has also helped me understand what had happened to me. I guess it just takes time. I struggle with asking friends advice as it has now been a while since the break up - you almost feel silly for not being over it or healed but it is an ongoing process. My friends are all married or engaged so I find it frustrating at times that they haven't been in my situation (not that I would wish it on anyone) but I do sometimes feel very alone. Kwardl I was where you were as I am sure most people on here have been. It's so hard I'm sorry you are going through this. If you want to chat please PM me. I think a few days away and in the sun will give you a chance to reboot and find perspective that you mightn't be able to find at home.

Hugs x

When I learned to forgive my ex in a non judgemental way, is when I really started to feel at peace. I stopped trying to change others and accepted them for who they were, while overlooking any character defects, realizing I had probably acted that way at different times in my own life.

God Bless

Recovering from a toxic spouse/partner is
Not straight forward. I am very glad you are
Addressing those issues. A narcisstic loves
A codependent with weak or no boundaries
.
I have found in my recovery, in order to repel
bullies and abusers the Stronger you are in
yourself and in your boundaries You are not
So appealing to them. HUGS