I still live with my STBX, unfortunately (until July). She texts constantly - all day long (not to me); it has been an issue between us for a while. It is ridiculous.

I pay the bills and handle all the finances. I have access to the texting/calling records for our cell phones. I have been successful so far in not looking up her texting pattern. I suspect there is a single number that gets MANY texts, and that it is the person she is (likely, not proven) cheating with. But so far I have been able to avoid looking. Not easy.

If you are still "Facebook friends" with your ex or STBX, end that right now. We will be telling my daughter this Saturday about our divorce. As far as I'm concerned, it becomes "public" that day. And I un-friend her that day.

Hang in there.

CONGRATULATIONS

your strength at not acting is fantastic

It is so bloody hard

but you passed..with flying colours

See the improvement
I'm proud of you

Hugs for your pain also......
Hurts there...but strength rises

Thanks Murphy. I don't know what's going on but I'm going backwards. Not with my actions but my feelings. I didn't look at his Facebook today either even though I wanted to. But I cried today over him for the first time in days, maybe weeks. Not over the last time we were seeing each other but over when we were happy, 2 years ago. I miss the way we were then. But he's different now. I don't like this new him. I miss the old us, and there will never be that us again. It's so sad. We were good at one time. People could see our love. I'm so sad it's over.

I really want to call him. I miss how much he used to make me feel better. He wouldn't now though, he would only make it worse now. I'm so sad, I'm afraid I'll never find someone again who makes me feel the way he did

I know
it hurts so much
The person that loved so much and was so connected to us is gone
and you cannot reach that person again...They do not exist anymore