Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I've really had to re-evaluate my life, surroundings, relationships, etc this past weekend.
It seems as though I am in the midst of yet another break-up although there has been no closure. I have accepted the fact that a conversation of closure may not happen, and Im ok with that.
What I am finding strange and somewhat unsettling, is that I am not heartbroken, hurt, angry, etc. Its a feeling of borderline apathy mixed with a complete feeling of trust in the universe. Its not that I dont care, or that I didnt love him...because I sure did. Im wondering if this is healthy, or not so healthy. I have learned over this past weekend that it is not even remotely possible to hurt the way I did with my ex husband.
So..is this a good thing, or is "bad"?? I cant figure that part of it out.
The man i was involved with just suddenly cut off communication and "disappeared" Yes, he is currently in Afghanistan and has so much going on. I am and was prepared for that. I have been through so many deployments and can handle it.
He decided to go to Germany on leave rather than come home. I was ok with that, I supported his decision and was happy that he was doing what he needed to do to take care of himself.
And then..I never heard back from him again. He hasnt responded to my emails WHILE on vacation or even since he has been back. Its been weeks. I know this is my cue to let go. I just wish there were some integrity involved.
I remember after my divorce was final..having a conversation with my ex husband. He said that I was "capable" of love. He was right. I am capable, and he was not. I was made to go the distance, I held on when I shouldnt have and lived on hope for so many years.
My best froend said something to me this weekend that really struck a chord. She said that I "hold myself hostage to people" And you know what...she is right. My word is everything. When I say something, I mean it. When I commit to someone, I hold on..even when it is being shown to me that it is time to let go. These inner contracts that I have with myself are causing me more harm.
Time to rewrite the rule books, I suppose. But this is very difficult for me to do. I need to learn how to adapt and change when situations change. Guess its time to get that chameleon suit out.
Im grateful for my experiences. And while I have to let go, I know that I AM capable of love again after so much pain with my ex husband. I was brave enough to give my heart away..and I will be brave enough to do it yet again, should the opportunity arise once more. I will no settle for coldness or lack of communication. I will continue to be true to myself.
I have some good memories of him...his beautiful face, his kindness, the chance of experiencing love again, the connection that I found to myself through him to my "goddess" energy and sexuality. All good lessons... I will continue to honor those.
Looking for the blessings and good in things....more lessons I had to learn and now its time to rewire. I will no longer hold myself hostage...
Namaste-
It seems as though I am in the midst of yet another break-up although there has been no closure. I have accepted the fact that a conversation of closure may not happen, and Im ok with that.
What I am finding strange and somewhat unsettling, is that I am not heartbroken, hurt, angry, etc. Its a feeling of borderline apathy mixed with a complete feeling of trust in the universe. Its not that I dont care, or that I didnt love him...because I sure did. Im wondering if this is healthy, or not so healthy. I have learned over this past weekend that it is not even remotely possible to hurt the way I did with my ex husband.
So..is this a good thing, or is "bad"?? I cant figure that part of it out.
The man i was involved with just suddenly cut off communication and "disappeared" Yes, he is currently in Afghanistan and has so much going on. I am and was prepared for that. I have been through so many deployments and can handle it.
He decided to go to Germany on leave rather than come home. I was ok with that, I supported his decision and was happy that he was doing what he needed to do to take care of himself.
And then..I never heard back from him again. He hasnt responded to my emails WHILE on vacation or even since he has been back. Its been weeks. I know this is my cue to let go. I just wish there were some integrity involved.
I remember after my divorce was final..having a conversation with my ex husband. He said that I was "capable" of love. He was right. I am capable, and he was not. I was made to go the distance, I held on when I shouldnt have and lived on hope for so many years.
My best froend said something to me this weekend that really struck a chord. She said that I "hold myself hostage to people" And you know what...she is right. My word is everything. When I say something, I mean it. When I commit to someone, I hold on..even when it is being shown to me that it is time to let go. These inner contracts that I have with myself are causing me more harm.
Time to rewrite the rule books, I suppose. But this is very difficult for me to do. I need to learn how to adapt and change when situations change. Guess its time to get that chameleon suit out.
Im grateful for my experiences. And while I have to let go, I know that I AM capable of love again after so much pain with my ex husband. I was brave enough to give my heart away..and I will be brave enough to do it yet again, should the opportunity arise once more. I will no settle for coldness or lack of communication. I will continue to be true to myself.
I have some good memories of him...his beautiful face, his kindness, the chance of experiencing love again, the connection that I found to myself through him to my "goddess" energy and sexuality. All good lessons... I will continue to honor those.
Looking for the blessings and good in things....more lessons I had to learn and now its time to rewire. I will no longer hold myself hostage...
Namaste-
For a few days I've had 2 back to back Xes on my mind. They did the same thing to me and I was only a kid (18,19?) but it really changed how I viewed myself. It changed how I viewed men and for the next few Xes I became quite cold and unfeeling (to guard my heart of course). And in hindsight I realize it was just what it was, 2 boys avoiding having to break up with me and hoping I'd get the hint. It was just easier to ignore me than to face hurting my feelings.
I believe that when we need the lessons and the opportunities to heal they are there right before your eyes. Thank you so much!
I'm sorry for your situation.
(((Namaste)))
perhaps there is a hidden reason for his silence and im sure deep down you are trying to hold on to that idea too..
either way, i trust you will be ok....
.as you are already a veteran of this war,
you have won many battles before...
i know you will overcome this one too....
just wonder, do our hearts harden with each blow?
or do they remain soft and tender inside and we ware some type of shield to protect us on the outside???
my respects to you...
That's _exactly_ how I felt, and some of those exact same thoughts went through my mind after being dumped for the third time by my xgf.
Initially I didn't feel much aside from acceptance, compassion for her, and a gut feeling that it was all for the best. For both of us.
That stayed with me for several weeks, but then I did experience some anger. After examining that feeling for a while (I don't really remember just how long), it was because I was still holding out hope. But she totally cut me off. Her stated reasons didn't make sense. It went from undying love and why don't we save money and you move in with me to screaming, shouting, accusing and belittling me all in the course of 24 hours.
I was angry at myself for holding out hope, when in fact there was no hope. It was so very obvious. So I made my decision. That's when I began in earnest to let go.
Okay, so long story short, it seemed to be very healthy for me. I think somewhere deep down inside I knew it was coming based on the ups and downs, the black and white of her personality. Somewhere deep down my subconscious was prepared.
So now I only have good feelings about me, about her and about what we had. I know it's over, and I'm sure we are absolutely incompatible. I'm also absolutely sure she gave me a gift. She helped me see a side of me I never knew existed to the depth and breadth I experienced.
I'm just relating how things played out for me, and where I ended up. On March 28th I felt like you described above, and I know where I am now. It's turned out incredibly well for me.
Of course none of us can see the future, and I wouldn't be so presumptious to say how things might or might not play out for you. I just wish you all the best, however events unfold.
Sending Peace and Serenity your way.