Namaste, I can totally relate to this. I feel like we (in our society) are contstantly getting messages that there is something wrong with us for being single (and in my case, also having chosen not to have children). When really, there are many strong, contented single people out there living on their own (I posted a link to a podcast about this topic a few weeks ago). I often feel that others look at me differently because I don't have the "typicall" life others have of being coupled off, and I just live alone (with my cat).

marrieds see singles as threats. it is probably a primitive instinct.

yup. between being single and having a young son, I get left out of the loop quite often...

I guess I just don't pay any attention about what people do or say about single people. I think anyone who gets married in this day and age are nuts.
I don't think people have to get married anymore. When I hear someone is getting married, I'm usually surprised, mainly if I don't think it's going to last. I think sometimes people are actually jealous that we have the best of both worlds. Getting divorced is so much of a battle, an the statistics say that's what will probably happen to most.
I think it's out of date and needs to be changed. People jump into marriage knowing they can jump right out if they want. I think getting married should somehow require waiting awhile and getting divorced--the same so maybe people wouldn't jump so fast. It's the kids who suffer most.

Faithful....but....a "threat" from my mother??

I guess I haven't considered or really cared about how people view me as being single. I've found several single people to be with, and it's more relaxing, and less stuffy and tiring than playing the "couples" game.

I think a mother should always hope and want her children, especially daughters, to be able to stand on her two feet. We don't raise kids to be needy and self-absorbed; we raise them to be free-thinkers, logical, independent, smart, and equip them with the best we possibly can.

Every human being wants attachment. However it's also a fact of life given the 50% divorce rate, attachments don't always work. in the meantime we create lives which add meaning and purpose for us as individuals.
During my divorce my mom commented, "You're going to be alone just like me." I had to really work to separate myself from that comment. I would not give up my singleness to go through what I just came out of. So all I have to do is look back and know I'm much better off being single right now.
I love the kids table. They're more fun then many of the adults I've met.

maybe your mother is just a traditionalist. remember, every kid's job is to grow beyond their parents. it is not our jobs as adults to beat up our parents and say "catch up with me now, mom and dad."

I have a friend who never married and she gets all kinds of rude comments. Things like "oh, it's good that your dating" Isn't that dumb?

Don't forget, our Mothers generation didn't have all the opportunities we have now. Finding a husband was top priority for them.

You know, my Mom was born in 1951, as the oldest of four, to a single mom because her dad left when she was little. That was pretty taboo for back in the fifties. My Grandma wanted my Mom to work and take care of herself, but ultimately, find a man to take care of her in the long run.

My Mom met my Dad when she was 10 and they started dating when they were 15. She was a typical oldest child, so she helped pay bills for my Grandma, and took care of her younger sibling, one of whom was my late Uncle who had Downs Syndrome. Another taboo for back then.

Growing up, my Mom was a PTA mom, room mother, etc. When I, as the youngest, got into school full time, my Mom went back to school and got her Masters Degree.

She is incredibly self-assured, self-possessed, independent, strong, and wouldn't "fail" or "fall apart" if all of a sudden she didn't have my Dad around. When I got divorced, she didn't once say, "Well, now you're single, loser" or make snide remarks. Because she GETS it. She has been married for 41 years, but it hasn't been without trying times and difficulty. For all the times her and I have argued in life, she didn't once judge me or make me feel less than because I'm not currently attached.

Simply put: she grew up in a generation where women married, had kids, and nothing more. My mom wasn't encompassed by her "roles" of that time, and doesn't expect her daughters to be either.

Most of the time, I think people who judge others based on relationship status are really very insecure in themselves because, when they look inward, they can't cope with or think about what would happen if they all of a sudden didn't have a partner.

And, PLEASE sign me up for the kids table. The convo is funnier and more honest than most adults who are too busy putting on a show for others.

I hear you - I get it all the time. Particularly as I choose not to have children too.

I dont measure success for anyone by relationship status.....I think that's just a small part of the whole. But others seem to see this very differently.

One thing though - I know so many needy people who are in bad relationships rather than being alone..........ugh. I'd rather be alone forever than involved in something like that......

Coping...lol...I agree. I am raising a son, I definitely don't need a needy whiner to raise with him LOL

My thoughts exactly, Coping. I'd much rather be "alone" than in a relationship that is not great. They don't see this though. Guess I need to make peace with the judgement.

I like the kids table too...it just gets old knowing that I'm expected to sit there because of their thoughts. Ugh.

My mothers comment: " you're such a pretty girl. What's wrong with you?!". As if Im broken, or an emotional train wreck..or whatever. I didn't question what she meant by that..just not worth it to go there.

Need and want are two very different things. But..I don't need a relationship...and truthfully, don't want one at this point either.

it's even worse for men, namaste. single middle aged and older men are seen as closet gays or pervs. our culture is so scared of single men that it is ridiculous.

if i were smart, i would wear a wedding ring, i guess.