Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Profile of an abuser

CMondo
CMondo
Looking around, reading several posts, books and living the experience myself in different circumstances, here is what I notice in common on an abuser:

- talks fast
- doesn't allow the other party to reply to accusations or self defense by talking at the same time.
- flips on every event, making it your fault: if they betrayed your trust, it was your fault, if they lied, it was your fault, if they are angry with you, it was your fault
- they say they love you but their actions show the opposite
- they cry more often then not, asking for forgiveness, only to repeat the same over and over

The list is long. Sometimes I think I am the one going nuts because the abuser is centered with conviction and indeed manipulative.

If you experienced the same or similar, how do you keep sanity and make the abuser understand their actions are not acceptable without ripping the defensive side on them that usually bursts in an attack against you again?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm dealing with a situation now that after tonight has made me wake up. After another fight on Monday night, I have tried to contact him for 3 days. He ignores my calls and my texts. He even told his daughter not to text me anymore. A friend of his whom I was talking with tonight made me realize that every time I call or text him, I am giving him my power. I feel guilty and very sorry for the things that I said on Monday and I just want to hear him say he forgives me. I have beaten myself up over and over again but now I have forgiven myself. Since he is acting like he is, I need to just walk away. No man, or woman should give away their power. If this man truly loves me, he will be in touch with me. I have always gone back in the past but not this time. I care too much about myself to give in to the childish acts of this man. I will not give him my power or beat myself up any longer over the past.
GeocacherNY
GeocacherNY
except for the last line, THAT'S MY SISTER! and our relationship. I Just realized it a few months ago after finding this page:

* http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

or http://bit.ly/9QUCE0 for short url


Apparently my sister told my Dad something Against me near thanksgiving, aka typical abuser tact, and I have NOT seen or heard from my dad or HER since Thanksgiving.

I feel SO MUCH better, happier, healthier, since the 2 of them stopped talking to me.