If a guy looks at porm and gets off by it. Is it cheating?

It is a known fact women masterbate too. So what is a woman thinking when she dose it? Is it cheating?

again, getting off on porn is not cheating UNLESS it's secret and hidden. That makes it dirty.

Porn is not dirty. Well, yeah, it is, but in a GOOD way.

interesting discussion. I've not had a partner who looked at porn while we were together (that I know of), but the man I recently started dating has been very upfront about the fact he watches porn. He's not necessarily proud of it, but he does and he explained the origins of it and wanted to tell me about it from the beginning. My only personal thought about it is that I guess I'd rather my partner would fantasize about me when he masturbates ...

Hiding is the bigger issue here, I think, too ...

Eris you are saying that if your guy came to you when you come home from work and said " Sweety I was so horny today so I saw this cute 18 year old with bigger boobs then you on the web and just had to let it out " You would be ok with that.

Am I the only person actually turned off by porn? I mean it works on some primal level but then my brain takes over and I just start thinking, who are these people and why do they want people to watch them doing these things? I also think (no scientific research to back this up) that likely the women who want to be in porn are looking for some type of approval or have been objectified most of their lives (maybe only got attention for being pretty or being sexual) or were sexually abused or have a sexual addiction. It just bums me out more than anything!

We looked at it together and apart. I like porn.

M you are over analyzing the porn thing. Hey they do it for the money. And they are sexually robust women that are secure with their bodies and what they want to do with their bodies. Life is fun. If if feels good and they are consenting adults its all good.

Im kind of torn on this issue.

Porn was a big issue in my marriage. i didnt care that he watched it, but HATED that it was for hours on end every day.

AND that he lied about it. That was the trust issue for me.

It also messed up my own feelings of security and self esteem. I didnt feel like i could compare with what he was looking at all the time.

AND that he paid for it. that really pissed me off....Im not talking $30 here and there, Im talking at one point a couple hundred a month.

Then again...I also caught him on a sex and swinger site looking for some on the side too.

Ack... im in a pissy mood today...sorry.

We watch it together. It was interesting and educational to hear her likes and dislikes. But didn't do it all of the time. If not hidden from the other I don't see a problem with it.

Men have to hide it because women think why is he looking at it and not with me.

My stbx was also frustrated over her feelings that she couldn't compare to the women in the porn. Either thier physical appearance, or thier "experience/abilities". But again this was mostly due to her own insecurities and issues. I reasured her time and time again that I would sooooo much rather be with her than that crap, but she never did believe me. I see now that it was a catch 22 that I put myself in. Just a fucked up situation all around.

I think for most guys it's a means to an end; It's an unemotional tool for release. Women have romance novels and b.o.b.'s. (Women have been known to become dependent on thier toys.) Like it was said, men are visual creatures, while women are more emotionally "interested". I believe that. I think it's very primal. Rash generalization: Men are attracted to women for breeding purposes, i.e. big boobs and hips, etc. Women are attracted to men for safety and security. Again, this is our primal selves, Obviously we've evolved to needing emotional connections, but that part of us is still there, imho.

There was a study done once that compared the type of man that women were attracted to at different times. During ovulation, women were more attracted to the "dangerous", physically attractive man. Breeding potential. During other times, they were more attracted to men who appeared more stable; safety and security, provide for the children.

Just my coupla pennies.

Yes to every thing. I think some of the DS girls should have topless avatars if they want to.

GS, I'm one of those women that will point OUT a woman with a nice rack when I'm with a guy.....so, NO it would NOT bother me.

Of course, if any guy I was with said that about an 18 year old, I'd probably scratch their eyes out because my daughter is almost 18. Anyone I'm around knows that's a touchy subject with me, and either accepts that, or gets kicked to the curb.