Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ok so this has nothing to do with M&M's or candy for that matter. Just playful prying of all the good people who have loved and lost and are dealing with it.
So many positive, reasoning,intelligent and articulate folks adorn these threads with comments, advice and well wishes. Women and men, both conveying their fears and aspirations, unveiling emotions to strangers, all held together on common ground. That common ground is the fact, after being in a partnership, marriage or even a tryst, we are now alone.
The question I raise is not for argumentation, rather for speculation and information.
Who handles it better, being alone. Sure, it's going to be diversified by each individual , but in general who do you think handles loneliness the best, women or men.
my perspective later, if this thread goes anywhere.
So many positive, reasoning,intelligent and articulate folks adorn these threads with comments, advice and well wishes. Women and men, both conveying their fears and aspirations, unveiling emotions to strangers, all held together on common ground. That common ground is the fact, after being in a partnership, marriage or even a tryst, we are now alone.
The question I raise is not for argumentation, rather for speculation and information.
Who handles it better, being alone. Sure, it's going to be diversified by each individual , but in general who do you think handles loneliness the best, women or men.
my perspective later, if this thread goes anywhere.
you've stated that opinion a number of times lately.
I'm just curious, where did that opinion come from?
I also know her boys are her anchor, and gave her lots of strength to help her overcome the hardships she faced these past 11 years since her divorce.
Probably why some men will get right into another relationship soon after, because they "need" our nurturing and stress relieving abilities..;) (not all men, but some)
Maybe it's easier for us to be alone, in a way, it's a break for us, and we don't have to GIVE. We can take some time to give to ourselves.
Take my mom for instance, she didn't remarry. She had been a mom since 17 and a wife until she was 54, so she began living for herself. She did amazing things with her life from changing her career at 60, to joining Peace Corps in Africa until she 72. (she's my inspiration.:)
My Dad had someone already waiting for him in the wings. :( He did not do good alone. I remember.
Just my take on this! And this has been a good post with great discussion. Makes me feel so much STRONGER, today! :)
I agree with the populous. Women handle it better... I don't think its a bonding thing as that we are not afraid to share this kind of emotional crap. Guys bottle it until they pop. Proportionally, I would wager there are far more women members on DS then men because women share hurts more easily.
how many divorce filings are precipitated by women rather than men. you can bet that there are far more filings by women than men.
you don't really think that it is the man's fault so much of the time, do you?
http://www.divorce-lawyer-source.com/faq/emotional/who-initiates-divorce-men-or-women.html
I think some men and some women file because they would rather live alone than put up with the BS from their partner.
I wouldn't uses satistics as a gauge. I have come across many stories here on DS where both parties agree, it just takes one person to file to get the ball rolling.
In my experience, men just can't be alone because they can't handle much more than a job and watching TV....sorry gents - my experience. They jump from bed to bed looking for someone to take care of them.
As for putting the children first.....YA, BECAUSE THEY ARE CHILDREN. The husband is SUPPOSED to be an ADULT, not another child.
the idea that children come first is a modern, western concept.
so many women wonder why their men do this or that. and, it is as simple as the fact that the men have to substitute. after all, that is what their women are doing when they confide in their friends or children those things that are meant to be private with their men. if their women won't be their best friend and their confidant, many men will substitute them with someone or something else. there is no such thing as a vacuum in nature. that void will be filled one way or another.
but, this is getting off topic. maybe we should save this for another discussion sometime.