Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ok so this has nothing to do with M&M's or candy for that matter. Just playful prying of all the good people who have loved and lost and are dealing with it.
So many positive, reasoning,intelligent and articulate folks adorn these threads with comments, advice and well wishes. Women and men, both conveying their fears and aspirations, unveiling emotions to strangers, all held together on common ground. That common ground is the fact, after being in a partnership, marriage or even a tryst, we are now alone.
The question I raise is not for argumentation, rather for speculation and information.
Who handles it better, being alone. Sure, it's going to be diversified by each individual , but in general who do you think handles loneliness the best, women or men.
my perspective later, if this thread goes anywhere.
So many positive, reasoning,intelligent and articulate folks adorn these threads with comments, advice and well wishes. Women and men, both conveying their fears and aspirations, unveiling emotions to strangers, all held together on common ground. That common ground is the fact, after being in a partnership, marriage or even a tryst, we are now alone.
The question I raise is not for argumentation, rather for speculation and information.
Who handles it better, being alone. Sure, it's going to be diversified by each individual , but in general who do you think handles loneliness the best, women or men.
my perspective later, if this thread goes anywhere.
and my gf who is a nurse says, with palliative care patients she's seen, the surviving spouse lives longer if it's a woman
saddens me
I'm thinking maybe it's because women have a much more functional support network?
Grandma B, is a very kind soul, however she has gained a little snip in her tongue since Grandpa G passed. Grandma F, always with a very dry wit, is now apt to slap her knee and laugh out loud to a sarcastic comment she has quipped since the passing of Grandpa S.
as for the male, Ten days elapsed before heartbreak and sorrow took a good friends father to his resting place beside his wife of 47 years.
Also see a lot more ladies getting on with life, bettering themselves, accomplishing goals . Not to say there are not men who strive for better also, just seems to be more men wallowing in self pity, just trudging through life, without actually living it.
Would it be safe to say the ladies of the world are more optimistic of the future while the men are reluctant to learn from the past?
"the way men bond vs the way women bond"
would you explain?
On the flipside, I see women much more willing to share their hopes and dreams, although I also see that becoming less and less appealing as trust issues become more in play.
OK, OK, they say that older men living alone are at a much higher risk of suicide. So I'd say that's some pretty strong evidence that it's women.
Although financially, it's men.
BUT, I thought immediately of my parents who were married almost 58 years when my mom passed away. My dad died of a broken heart about 2 months later. After much discussion with my dad's doctors, they all had said this happens so much more often when the wife passes first. UGH.
I think ultimately women would handle it better.
that's been my experience too, with both my exhusband and my exS
and my exhusband has even said he finds it very uncomfortable to be alone
I think everyone posting on this thread is around my age and may agree. As a girl I was raised by a babyboomer mother. Was told I could do/be anything. Encouraged me to be self sufficient. Not depend upon anyone for anything. I believed her. Now post divorce I am not in a hurry to find a man to support me. I can be more "choosey."
I worked at a retirement community for about 5 years. I noticed that the widows usually didn't remarry, but the widowers did.
As for women getting on with their lives and trying new things, I've felt that men sometimes get stuck in a job/career because they can't risk changing - can't risk losing income. That's probably not as true anymore, but the women I know, myself included, have felt able to change career paths. My stbx was able to change career paths also because of my income, but what do you think? Do men get stuck in a rut of providing for their families? making it harder to carry on when the family situation changes?
so, it is natural for a person who is not as bonded to recover faster.
it really isn't a sex thing, it is a taught and learned behavior.