there could be many factors contributing to that...being trauma to mental disease...why label something so complex into one pile?

wife





sex was great, but nothing else to go with it

I'm very affectionate despite of my trauma. I don't know why but, I like it.

My ex? Is this a trick question?

a husband with an online addition?

I'm not even talking about sexual intimacy...obviously that is a given. I'm talking about just a general lack of interest in any affection, whatsoever. No trauma, or abuse is involved. For example, a hug will simply be a quick tap-tap on the back, always keeping the body at a distance...

that's what I'm talking about, Rdude, "cuddling" was me rubbing her feet

A hug in the kitchen was met with: "Get offa me!"

after boinking...'wrestlers, back to your corners'

it's still, a husband with an online addition

That would be me...Somedays I can't stand to even be touched at all...I can hug and be affectionate with my children but beyond that is a real REAL struggle...

Some who are in the Autism Spectrum, social connections are not functional whereas the regular day to day life can be successful or dysfunctional. No trauma in that scenario....just the genetic makeup.

So, a person can live their whole lives within the Autism Spectrum and not even know it?
ACT...why do you think you feel that way. Help me better understand.

It could have something to do with your upbringing as well......
I had constant hugs from my family.......some people don't. Not sure if that rolls over, but it could be a comfort level thing. Could be a body image thing......idk......this is an open ended topic.

It just makes me very very uncomfortable - like they want something or are trying to take something away from me - and if it gets started down that path they are going to want more and more and more. It's not that I don't care - I do very much. But touching and things like that bring on incredible anxiety - to the point I feel like I am going to explode. I cut for years to deal with that anxiety - but since I gave that up I am really on my own to deal with it and the way I deal with it is not to do it - well, that and to ride my bike.

My ex didn't know it and it made sense when I realized that our son was not developing in certain areas and was able to get early intervention. My ex was born in a small country town in Texas and his parents did not know about the spectrum and it related to him. Through our son, he found out many things. He was also void of some social connections...he didn't touch me for 2 years sexually and I was the one that initiated an embrace, a kiss. He is a genious in the business world but, lacks in the human socialization. He told me that had he known long ago, he would have benefited from the help that is out there now. He struggled making friends, struggled with many things and was confused with some of his patterns.

He didn't touch the ex wife before me for 3 years before she finally 'lost it'...

Our son is overly affectionate and doesn't understand moderation nor the concept of the abstract messages. The spectrum is wide and high or low....

Some people do not seem to need or want affection. My ex, my STBX-MIL (very nice lady, very unaffectionate), my grandma on my dad's side was that way when she was alive... i don't understand it, either. My ex would pat on my like you would on a dog (although he never petted our pets, if he did it was just as awkward, pat pat pat).....i told him that is was weird. He just laughed and did it more. He did not understand romantic affection, for the most part, outside of the bedroom. Or maybe he just didn't want that. I do think maybe his mom being so cold affected him. Who knows.