for me, at 56, i am trying not to stereotype myself. therefore, i am sidestepping the age thing and just doing what i want to do and do those things that make me happy. i figure in time, the odds are that i will trip over a woman who is doing basically the same thing.

btw, a close friend, 63, met a man online last year. they will probably marry in 2011.

I'm not quite 50 but it's coming up fast. I have the same worries.

For your answer though, I'd have to say look at the post from the guys. They're proof that they are out there :)

I'll be 50 in a few days and I ain't dead yet. However, I am not looking for another mate/partner at this point cuz I am busy learning and changing myself ( for the better). I am happy by myself and IF love should come my way....that is icing on the cake, but I will never settle for just anyone from now on.

I found out somthing a long time ago when I was single and crousing for women. If you go out looking you never find one. But if you have the attitude if I find sombody great if not no big deal. Its amazing how sombody will pop up when your not looking or even care. The other day at the resturant a woman was hinting around on me she works there saying she liked by beard and she was alone all the time. She not bad looking at all Blond blue eyes decent figure. But you know what I am not ready to date I am too screwed up. Even though I broke it off with this abusive realtionship I would still feell like a cheater I would be riddled with guilt! It never fails when you not looking youll find sombody if your out beatin the streets looking and looking it seems you just find frogs or toads! There both applicable. MY advice dont date untill you ready to date start volunteering get out among people have the attitude if I find some one great if I dont thats ok too. Its amazinag how this works. Just my two cents on it.

I'm 48 and totally terrified....I fell in love after my marriage was already dead but for whatever reason the new guy wasn't interested. Of course my age / physicaly shape is what i blame it on, cos I thought we were fantastic together chemistry wise. I'm scared that I'll end up settling for a kind of reluctant companionship like I had with my husband....makes me think whats the point of having left an 18 yr marriage if that's all there is. And that isn't what I want

I am grateful for all the sharing and responses here. I feel wiser, more able to understand, for having read the raw emotions of so many of you! Thank you!

cwalla, i haven't read everyone else's replyies, but I'm sure you've already gotten some good advice. I'll just mine:

My uncle & his ex-wife got divorced with two kids & each found love again after 50. Now both are married to people who are much more suited to them than their original spouse.

I know of several other people who found love after 50, 60 & 70.

I think it's natural to feel what you're feeling. I forget how long its been since you broke up, but just take it one day at a time and find a way to make peace 7 joy in your life without a partner. It takes work & determination, but usually those who really want to move on & have a fulfilling life manage to do just that. Once you're happy yourself and with your authentic life, you'll attract the right people (person) to you.

**HUGS**

Tom and I are LIVING PROOF that there is life after divorce AND a great chance of finding a loving and healthy relationship after age 50! We had both been married for 23 years and our marriages ended badly. We met on eHarmony.com in July 2007, had our first date in August 2007 and the rest is history.

Learn to love yourself. I don't think you want to hear that, and I can see that you are very concerned about your age, but why worry so much about your ability to attract a mate at your age when you could be simply enjoying each day as it presents itself? And if a mate comes along, all the better? Live in the moment more, it's a better place, most of the time.

I wish I could get to that point where being alone is OK. I spent 25 years in a marriage because I didn't think divorce was right, then spent next 4 years by myself (I'm a legal secretary so work kept me busy) and I wasn't ready for any relationship, then took the plunge on eharmony and married what I thought was my "soulmate". So I have been alone and it didn't really bother me then - I don't know why this is so different.

I had a couple of glass of wine this evening so please excuse my flippant response. Do you feel comfortable in your own skin? Why enter a relationship where you need to settle...are you not better than that. Being in a relationship is way over rated.....sorry that's the wine talking.

I am 47 and have the same worries. I was just having this conversation with my oldest sister last night. I don't have kids, and I wonder how I will manage later on. It is not so much about being alone now, though i still hurt and miss my ex. it is more about being alone later on when and if i can't get around so well. I think these are normal fears. Doesn't make them any less real. but I am going to try and take it one day at a time.

You all might find some comfort and words of wisdom on Divorce After 20+ Years (a sub-group of Breakups & Divorce here on DS. Lots of women in our age bracket going through the same thing. I'm a very active mentor/member over there and it's a wonderful, caring group.

Trying2breathe et al:
There is NO GUARANTEE even if you HAVE children that they are going to "take care of you" when you get old. Trust me on this! The last person I would want taking care of ME would be my daughter -- she can barely take care of herself!

I had been married for 22 years. When I was 50 I went from being a stay at home mom to a flight attendant. I hadn't worked in 20 years. (at least outside the home) At that time my STBX decided to have affairs and that was kind of 'it' for me. I had a melt down but then soon realized I had my job, the love of my kids, good friends and I had my Joy. I was not going to let him steal that away. I was 51 and believe it or not, as a FA it is hard to meet people. I see people every day, all kinds of people but to hang out at a gym every Tuesday or go to church every Sunday is next to impossible for me. My life is always literally and figuratively up in the air. I really wanted a coffee break friend. I was not ready for a serious relationship.

My daughter suggested that I go to an on line dating site. I thought on line sites were for losers. That was my feeling about it. But I did anyway. My daughter picked out this one man who lives in my city and we sent a few emails back and forth and then we decided to meet at the airport. We sat and talked at the resturant for three hours. It was amazing. We went out for dinner a few nights later, and the rest is history. It is not a rebound thing for me because I had gone to therapy a few years back as my STBX had cheated on me before but I took him back so I sort of came to grips with myself. But this man is the love of my life. We have been dating steadily for now two years. After my divorce is final in Jan I still plan on waiting but eventually in another year I will be going dress shopping.
Point being there is life after 50. And this is nice because I don't put up with balony anymore. You will be fine.

FS