I personally find it again when I walk past the legal secretaries or lawyers... or female cops. Something about a woman in a suit type outfit with hair up in a bun... or a woman trained to use a gun that drives me nuts.
Not sure why on the gun... should I be worried?

If this is a true serious post then I can relate. I am going to be honest here, but I had the same thing happen. Part of why the marriage went south. First I blame the pill...that killed anything I once had, then the kids and being tired of running around. I don't think it goes overnight, it just gradually happens along with life and you don't even notice. You both need to make time for that stuff which I never did. I even went to the doctor to figure this out cuz I knew it was me. Hormones, play a big part...not saying that as an excuse but it is not necessarily something you can help...at least in my case it isn't/wasn't. He just couldn't understand that and I tried everything. Best wasn't good enough.

Yes you can loose it - for some people that were abused as children it can be a real problem. Some learn to tolerate sex for their spouse / partner but never really enjoy it or could do with out. I know not everyone was abused as a child - but I think other trauma can trigger a similar reaction. There is a good book entitled Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred --- it is a place to start.

i was also going to say for a woman they are either on the Pill or nursing. Both can kill libido like nothing else..

I've heard that women need an emotional connection. Most men don't really need that emotional thing, though. They just need to see a "box."

I have often wondered the same thing Rman. I love sex with a loving partner. While married it kind of went away. I know that you shouldn't depend on someone else to fulfill all your needs but when I began to feel more like an object instead of a wife I didn't feel attracted to my husband however while we were going to MC the feelings began to come back. I think it was due to the feeling or idea that we both had a common goal. The goal to improve our marriage.

After no progress was being made the feelings left too. The feelings that replaced it were not flattering and I am ashamed for it now, but had I still felt the urge to sleep with him I wouldn't have made all the positive progress I have made so far. It was an unhealthy realtionship for me. I am much better off now.

Oh yeah, women also have to really like you... Lol! and trust you. And feel emotionally connected to you. True.

Another good book - although it was too late for us - was Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch.

"Couples therapists often specialize in one or the other--sex or the relationship. It's a ridiculous separation says marital and sex therapist David Schnarch, who believes sex is the all-telling barometer of a love relationship. Schnarch's fundamental lesson is differentiation--the often threatening process of defining yourself as separate from your partner, which inevitably draws you closer to your partner than you ever dreamed possible. Reviewed by: Amazon.com"

The story is the same:

wife: show me love, affection and emotion and I'll have sex with you.

husband: have sex with me and I'll show you love, affection and emotion...

dumb

For men.. well, for me, there are different kinds of sex. For loving, affectionate complete, correct sex (sorry for all the qualifiers) there needs to be a connection there, just like for women.
For dirty, oh-so-wrong sex. nothing is required but a place.
I'm committed to no more dirty sex.

yah, a catch 22

Yep - after surgery I wondered if I would have one again. It came back.

Lynne

*pulls up a chair - Resident Expert: Sexual Anorexia*

Ask any question - I have probably read about it or talked about it with a therapist.

Where do babies come from?

only from dirty sex.