Vacation? Whats a vacation? LOL

The only vacations I had with my ex were to his mothers home in Kentucky when he was on leave. Thank God I adore her because he would drop my son and I off there and then disappear for days with his best friend to play video games 24/7. ugh.

It was always an argument, and the entire family would be in an uproar. I was so incredibly sad that he would take off for days and care less and then I would have to hear it from the rest of the family..where is J----

but no, I dont think vacation should be such a "chore"

I always had to grovel for a vacation, and was lucky to get a vacation every 3 or 4 years.

My husband always became very controlling on vacations, expecting me to skip meals or "just wait" when I needed a bathroom break. Pretty hard to avoid an argument when you're being denied basic biological needs.

On our last vacation, we made a stop and I asked if we could have lunch. He said we should just have a snack and eat lunch later. I was making a real effort to avoid an argument, so I agreed. So, we stopped at a convenience store, and our son and I picked out a snack. My husband bought himself a sandwich, some fruit, etc. He basically ate lunch himself after he had told us to wait. My son and I didn't get to eat a meal until supper time.

It was like that for me with my ex, Lily. It should have been a big red flag warning sign that things are not right. He would never take a vacation with me alone and when I planned one with the kids (he never planned them) he half-heartedly came along, complaining the whole time about everything.

Not at all.

My STBX and I travelled well together and generally got along great until she decided she wanted to have sex with other people.

I loved vacations with my ex. I can't imagine being in love with someone and not wanting to be in new fun places with them. Or even old not-so-fun ones.

I wanted to go places with the X, I really did, but finances usually didn't allow for anymore than just a few 2-3 day trips rather than extravagant "vacations." I also foolishly gave her the freedom to travel places without me, including two different trips in the last year, and its just one of many reasons she decided the life the other man promised her was better than her reality.

DWH-

By "freedom" do you mean you foolishly gave her the means to travel places without you? Did you fund her excursions?

I did that. The last was an overseas trip to Italy. It was her third in as many years. I don't regret it. It was a gift. I do resent the lack of recognition or appreciation and no, I didn't make the gift to get recognized or appreciated.

Dreadpirate - I agree wholeheartedly. If you love someone, you want to spend time with them. I could never understand my husband's mentality.

I don't believe this is gender based, it's the person. Sounds like yours was a very controlling person.

I didn't think it was gender based with my husband. But when my male friend made a similar comment, it crossed my mind.

Good to hear there are normal guys out there who enjoy a vacation and enjoy being with the woman they love.

I tried to get my ex to take a vacation with me several times and then when she left me for the second time, she flew to Idaho and met a man there that she met on the internet...I still cannot believe that one.

Not at all.
I loved taking WW on vacations.
The few times I was away without her, I wished she was with me.

Doesn't matter, she cheated anyway.

We haven't had a vacation in over 5 years but......when we did, my husband used to like them because he liked to stay in nice hotels and pretend he was well off. When we crashed with the relatives.....uh, not so much. So it didn't really pertain to me at all.

Nah, It's just the women we take them with. So he didn't like going anywhere with you, not the vacation.

Wow, I kinda suspected some of these female avi's where men.

My ex used to love vacation. Meant more opportunities to drink.