What are the three rings of marriage?

A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.

A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.

He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells.

The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector."

"Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?"

He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"

What comes with the new Divorced Barbie doll?

A: All Ken's stuff.

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss."

Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery.

As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs.

He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!"

"No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."