Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
This is a new one for me..
Been Divorced for almost 1 year. Ex moved out and has been living in the basement apartment of a friends house. He invited me to see it before the kids stayed there. Dreary but okay and there is one big room that has 3 beds in it one for him and each of opur sons.
He is getting married to the OW in March. She has a 2 bedroom house and her son lives with her 1/2 of the time. They are planning to knock out a wall and make a room for my kids "after they are married". No room in her house for 2 more beds. No timeline on when that room will be ready.
Now he is planning to move into his Mothers 1 bedroom apt. while she goes to Florida for the Winter. No room for the kids beds there either.
So..his plan for the next 6 months, and however long it takes for the new room to be completed, is for my kids to sleep on the couch (doesn't pull out) or the floor.
He says that he needs to take a break from paying rent. He has 2 recreational vehicles that he pays for every month, has bought an engagement ring, is planning a wedding and a honeymoon to a destination that requires a passport.
He told me today that it was not that many years ago that kids slept 7 to a bed. That may be so..but my kids have never had to do that. For that..I am greatful.
The OW had a 3 bedroom house, sold it, and moved into this little house..knowing that she and my ex were going to get married and that he had 2 kids that would need a place to sleep.
I thought that I had thought of everything in my Divorce papers..never occured to me that I would need a Judge to tell my ex that he had to have a bed for the kids to sleep in.
What bothers me most is that my kids, who are not jumping up and down with joy over any of this, are being welcomed into his new life with " welcome to your new "other" home..grab a blanket and a spot on the floor".
Bottom line..I told him to forget it. They don't have to have thier own rooms but they have to have thier own beds. My oldest is 11..and needs at least that degree of privacy.
Am I being unreasonable???
Been Divorced for almost 1 year. Ex moved out and has been living in the basement apartment of a friends house. He invited me to see it before the kids stayed there. Dreary but okay and there is one big room that has 3 beds in it one for him and each of opur sons.
He is getting married to the OW in March. She has a 2 bedroom house and her son lives with her 1/2 of the time. They are planning to knock out a wall and make a room for my kids "after they are married". No room in her house for 2 more beds. No timeline on when that room will be ready.
Now he is planning to move into his Mothers 1 bedroom apt. while she goes to Florida for the Winter. No room for the kids beds there either.
So..his plan for the next 6 months, and however long it takes for the new room to be completed, is for my kids to sleep on the couch (doesn't pull out) or the floor.
He says that he needs to take a break from paying rent. He has 2 recreational vehicles that he pays for every month, has bought an engagement ring, is planning a wedding and a honeymoon to a destination that requires a passport.
He told me today that it was not that many years ago that kids slept 7 to a bed. That may be so..but my kids have never had to do that. For that..I am greatful.
The OW had a 3 bedroom house, sold it, and moved into this little house..knowing that she and my ex were going to get married and that he had 2 kids that would need a place to sleep.
I thought that I had thought of everything in my Divorce papers..never occured to me that I would need a Judge to tell my ex that he had to have a bed for the kids to sleep in.
What bothers me most is that my kids, who are not jumping up and down with joy over any of this, are being welcomed into his new life with " welcome to your new "other" home..grab a blanket and a spot on the floor".
Bottom line..I told him to forget it. They don't have to have thier own rooms but they have to have thier own beds. My oldest is 11..and needs at least that degree of privacy.
Am I being unreasonable???
Amazing to me..as I think about it that I even have to have this discussion with him. Married for 14 yrs and the kids have always had thier own room that we would paint (okay I painted) and decorate to make them have a special "space". Now i have to beg for a bed.
I will go to court if I have to. Hoping that it won;t come to that. Ex and the OW are both in law enforcement. How embarrasing would it be to get dragged into court and have a Judge have to tell you to have a bed for your kid.
One of those "I can't beleive this is my life" kind of things..
However, a frien of mine, also with boy and girl, went to court and the court ruled he had to provide separate sleeping accomodation for each child as they were opposite sexes and heading into teenage years.
It would bother me that he does not know "when" this will take place. The bottom line is you will have to decide if the sleeping on the floor and lack of privacy outweigh any good that being with their dad might bring them. seems unfair for them, I know. I am a huge advocate for kids know both parents, unless they are unfit of course.
I'm glad to read your post, because I am grappling with the same situation... and I was wondering if I was being unreasonable. I have 2 kids and the new girlfriend has 2 of her own. My stbx is moving in with her. I don't know what her living situation is, but since she's a full-time beauty school student, I'm guessing she's not living in a 4 bed-room colonial... As it is, now that she spends the night, my kids are sleeping on the livingroom floor of his one-bedroom apartment (for the first months, he gave them the bed).
Sorry you're going through this... I know it sucks.