Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Johnzilla 01/30/2014

I gave her one last chance tonight to change her mind about the divorce and she said no.

I'm not going to be able to file tomorrow as planned due to unforeseen circumstances but I was able to get one thing accomplished tonight and that was the destruction of my wedding band. It looked great on my finger but after taking the pliers to it, it will never go on to a finger again.

I guess this could be considered part of the grieving/moving on process and I needed to do it for my own peace of mind. I took video with my phone as I did it...showed the ring on my finger then took it off and crushed it. She doesn't know it yet but one day if she gets me substantially pissed off, I'll send her the video. Hell, I may even use one of the pictures for an avatar. I hate feeling vindictive but I want her to see an effect of the pain she has caused.

This damn roller coaster has a way of turning me into someone I don't like and I'll be glad when it's behind me!

deleted_user 01/30/2014

I can honestly say you are alot stronger than I am. I haven't even been able to take my wedding band off. My husband put his ring in my pocket when I came to his friends. I have it on a necklace around my neck. I guess its suppose to be comfort but I feel no comfort.

Congratulations in another step ahead for you!

Blindsidedagain 01/30/2014

Cash in the ring and get a nice dinner for yourself.

bigguy3 01/30/2014

This situation makes me giggle a little because I can relate to you John. To me, the wedding ring was a symbol of a commitment ... it meant something to me. I keep my wedding ring on 24/7 unless I am doing something where wearing it could injure me (like playing basketball and getting my ring caught in the net). I wore my ring up until the day I signed the divorce papers because it was important to ME. My (ex) wife, on the other hand, didn't attach much significance to the rings at all. In fact she has stopped wearing her wedding ring a few years before we divorced using the excuse that it "clashed with her other jewelry". She was selling cheap, costume jewelry at the time and she wore several samples of the costume crap to show it off. Anyway, I took my ring off, stuffed it into a drawer and thought that maybe someday I could have the gemstones removed from it and have earrings made for my daughter. I may still do that .... or simply sell it. It no longer holds any significance to me.

JustASimpleGuy 01/30/2014

' It's a wonder what a few hours can do to a person's train of thought.'

It's interesting how our perspective can change and generate different emotions/feelings over the exact same event, even in just a few short hours.

The mind is a very, very powerful tool that can either be a great ally or great enemy.

Johnzilla 01/30/2014

My stones were all small and the ring probably wouldn't have gotten much if I wanted to sell it plus I would not want anyone else wearing it. That's why I crushed it last night. Sure, any monetary value is now gone and I got rid of the sentimental value at the same time.

Symbolic? Damn straight but I think that I needed to do it as a part of going forward with my life.

deleted_user 01/30/2014

I've asked STBX if he would consider sending me his ring since it obviously has no meaning for him. I don't think I could destroy my wedding ring. Would kind of make me feel like my marriage never happened.

Johnzilla 01/30/2014

At this point I think that's how I'd rather feel.. Like it never happened

deleted_user 01/30/2014

I can't and don't want to feel like it never happened. Regardless of how it ended my marriage meant something to me. I can't help it he lost his freaking mind. At least I know that I honored my commitment to him and our marriage.

Johnzilla 01/30/2014

I'm sure in the future I may feel the same way but for now there is too much hurt to feel any other way. I need to get this out of my system. I'm sure everybody here used or is using their coping method that they find best. For me, at this moment, I've got to look at it as a bad dream and nothing more. I woke up, it's gone...

darkenedheart 01/31/2014

Good you have made that step. Now sell the ring for scrap gold and buy yourself something nice with the proceeds.

Hugs.

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