Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Once upon a time I was a firm believer of once a cheater always a cheater and I use to look at those women that forgave their husbands indiscretions as weird creatures and thinking to myself that they were crazy cause that was never going to happen to me. Well the world have a crazy way of challenging your believes. My husband cheated back in 2007, brief affair with this girl that didn't even know he was married and he swore that he was sorry, that if wouldn't happen again and he love me. Well silly me forgave me and we worked really hard to rekindle and make our marriage work. Things were going great, he was doing wonderful and better than ever. Fast forward 2-3 years later and now he is in an emotional affair which is worst than the physical, he bonded with this female and now he can't break that bond. He says he haven't cheated cause he didn't slept with her but feelings develop betweem him and this other female. We discussed divorce in a few ocassions but he says he wants to work things out but he is been honest on how he feels about this other woman in his life. He says he cut of all communication with her but he misses her. So here I am, the strong willed woman that was never going to stay with a man that cheated, fighting for her marriage and her man like a lion does protecting her cubs. I never thought that I was going to be here again but here I am wondering once a cheater always a cheater??
I also gave a second chance--don't knock yourself up too hard for giving him a second chance. It was his to lose.
Now I have cut the strings and am moving on. It feels fantastic!
Unfortunately, there really is no difference between emotional and physical infidelity. The time and attention he should be spending working on the marriage with you, he is spending developing bonds with someone else.
Good luck to you. It hurts like hell, but in the end has nothing to do with you--it is about him and his messed up mind.
Never. I mean NEVER gave me a moment's worry that it would happen again until:
This past year. And wouldn't you know? The same hoe shows up on FB and my husband starts talking to her. Said he'd stop if I wanted. I Did want after 2 weeks and he wouldn't stop.
He kicked me out in Sept and moved her in within 2 days!
Now I do believe once a cheater always a cheater and...
the emotional affair is just the same as the physical. they aren't there for the spouse, but they are there for the loved one that isn't in the home.
Know what I mean?
Mine said, "I didn't sleep with her until you were gone" Yes. that is fact. But he is still cheating. Duh!
i now see how so much that was wrong with HIM caused his heart to turn. those things are still wrong with him. easier for him to feel love with someone else than to work on a real relationship.
could he change? maybe. is he likely to? i don't think so.
you both would have to do A LOT of hard, honest work with a good marriage counselor for things to change. do you think he is up for that?
You have a life ahead of you, don't waist it on someone that does not respects you. It's really hard but in the long run you will feel better. You don't want to be with someone just to be with someone, you want to be with a person that is willing to give you that 100% that you are giving to him. Stop worrying about others, and worry about yourself.
Cuidate mucho, ya veras que todo estara bien.
Jaquelin.
1. I did a lot of stupid things when i was younger, I did cheat on my first husband when I was a teenager, but since then I've never done anything like that, because this experience made me realize that there was something wrong with my behavior. I was married again and faithful for 12 years until he actually cheated on ME.
2. My stbx husband lost everything because of what he did to us and he is suffering big time. I know for sure that if we got back together he would never do it again, because just like me, this changed him and made him see the light. Unfortunately, I am too hurt to go back to what was and I am moving on.
I'm sorry that your husband hurt you and lied to you. I wish you happiness, be strong.
You deserve someone who will value you and respect you!
Yes of course some change, just like some alcoholics and sex addicts change. The odds are against them though. Only YOU can decide if the gamble is worth the risk.
Me, I'm not much of a betting woman anymore. The last relationship I gambled on change, because he said he wanted it so badly.
I don't want to waste any more time taking chances.
Other women can take those risks with cheaters.
I'd rather be alone than count on someone who has the odds stacked against them.
Life's too short.