You did it because it feels good and because it's your norm. Now stop it!! Get back to your new normal and building your life.

Were you married or living together?

Ahh the get back together quickee.
I miss that stuff but not the ex.
Been there done that.
You'll get over it.

People, humans have needs....and you are comfortable with him...no big deal really ...just don't get sucked back in if you truly want out....just learn from it.....

Dexter - we are still legally married - he is my STBX husband.

I gave in for 0 months, errrr I'm embarrassed to admit that. The idiot even called me after the divorce to ask if I "needed company". I'd rather die alone than be with him again.

Queenie is so smart, listen to her.

You guys are sooo right... I am not going to do that again. It was nice to be around him in a "nice mood" , you know what I mean? I'm used to playing slave to him and listening to him call me names. I know it was wrong. I can NOT cave again. Thanks for all the advice and comments.

He said no to me for the last two years of our marriage. After our divorce, I tried once (I was a sucker for punishment) and guess what? HE SAID NO! Soon after that, he offered up his weenus for money. NO KIDDING! I said NO. Listen to 4Queens. My norm was to be rejected.....craks me up just typing this but someday, you will too. HUGE HUGS and no more putting out to him!

Honey...I did it...twice...

It is hard not too....dont be so hard on yourself, you are only human.

I didn't do it, but know many women who have and the posts here are right on. Learn from it and move on with your new life!

Many hugs,

Lynne

You are not alone in this. Wanting to be desired and all the memories make it very hard. I actually asked mine when we had been seperated for about 4 months, he said sure if I knew it meant nothing to him. Yep wasn't hard to not want to be with him after that. You did something you regret now file it away and keep moving forward. Big hugs.

for me and my husband (separated for 3 years) I think he knows the buttons to press to make me have hope ... he knows how to talk to me to make me not want to give up on us .... but it's been three years and while we still talk every day I know I'll never go back to him .... the mental, emotional, finanical abuse is too real for me to deny ... sure he may know how to act or talk to me but as others said I'd rather die alone than return to that day in and day out abuse

Mine never offered, and I wouldn't if he did. Ewwww. He's been with a skanky ho.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Many on DS have done this. You're lonely, vulnerable, and still have feelings for this man. Chalk it up as a mistake and move on.

Hugs.

people confuse sex with love

I don't want this to seem like its judgemental... its not... rather its exploratory... I'm hoping to help you ask questions of yourself see what is going on...

Was there a reason why you wanted to party with the man you're divorcing?

Was there a real reason to go back to his place?

Was there a reason you went upstairs with him alone?

~~~~

Ultimately, whether he 'tricked' you or not... just in your email i can see three places where you could have bailed if you don't want a relationship with this man.

Some more questions, again exploratory, for you to answer privately:

Are you really done with him or are you done with his crap? There is a distinct difference...

Have you given up your love or do you still have hope that he can change and that he can become the man that he should be? There's nothing wrong with that... you loved him once... nothing says you have to stop loving him...

Why can you not go back to him? not knowing all of your story I ask this.


Again... i'm not being judgemental... I'm sorry that you did soemthing that, although pleasant, you didn't really want to do.

I hope that the questions help you resolve thigns for yourself.