christmas time can be lots of fun just being out and about around people. i like seeing them happy and shopping. just being around them makes me feel a lot less alone in the world.

That might be an idea. I'm not one to people watch that often, but maybe I could try that.

when we are alone too much, we start thinking and feeling too much. just getting out of the house and around people really works wonders for someone on disability especially if we go places where people are happy. it kind of rubs off on us. :)

It's all about making new memories and traditions to replace the old ones. I agree that being alone too much is not a good thing, unless of course you enjoy being alone. I was lucky enough to be invited to family's house on Thanksgiving when my kids were with their father, and on Christmas they went there in the afternoon and were home after dinner. So some alone time, but not too much. I love Thanksgiving with the big family gathering (minus the disfunction, if I can get it), but no so much Christmas - too commercial. So make some plans to do what feels fun to you. Maybe gather with other single friends. If I had some, I would do that. And finally just remember that it's only a day - it will be over soon enough, and then tomorrow will come and it will be a day like any other.

Hmm. I think I suggested this earlier this week. If you are truly alone for Xmas, no kids, or relatives, volunteer. Back some cookies for the local police dept. Serve at a soup kitchen. There's plenty of volunteer opportunities during the holidays.

Yikes.

BAKE some cookies.

Was considering doing volunteer work to take up some of my time once I get a car. I love doing for others, and I feel channeling that passion of mine into some volunteer work when I'm having a good day is the best way to give me propose. I will be around family for all the holidays as I live with my parents now, and my friends I imagine will be around too. I just don't want to be depressed when they come and pass. I am finding today to be depressing as it is 6 months from the separation, and I'm annoyed at myself for feeling this way over her. If that makes sense.

Cut yourself some slack. You can't heal if you don't allow yourself to feel the pain. Let it in. Then let it go. I don't like that feeling either, but the only way out is through. And the faster you let yourself feel the pain, the faster it will go away.

It's also going to be my first holidays being alone.I can be exciting but then thinking about all of the old memories can be overwhelming.I know your pain bro and I just hope I can stay strong for my daughter during this time.We're all alive and breathing!! That just there is a blessing!! We just always have to look at the positive side and keep it moving forward.Good luck bro and God bless!

Being surrounded by friends and family members during the holidays was very helpful to me. In addition, processing emotions and thoughts about my ex helped and most of all putting things into perspective.

Hugs to you my friend. Keep posting. Daily Strenght Support Groups is comprised of members with real life challenges.

I plan to be around my family and friends, but I hope I don't drag them down. I know they would understand if it happened, but I don't want to rehash the feelings I've already gone though. In a way, I'm thankful that she left me, as it means I can do what I desire for the holidays, instead of being pigeon holed into what she wants to do, but I will say I will miss things.

I personally miss the area we used to live at. They had this amazing Christmas light show at a national park in WV, and we used to make the trip every year to see it. Silly I know, but I am already thinking how I'm not going to be able to see it this year being 400 miles away, and that makes me a bit sad. New memories are what I hope to make. I guess for me, I don't like the being alone. Family and friends are one thing, but no romance kills it for me. Guess I can transfer it to giving more to my family and friends. I'll do my best to sort it out. It does get easier right?

It does, but you have to work at it. Allow yourself a little pity time, then pick yourself up and do something positive. Start making a new life for yourself. It will get better with time.

I'm in the process of that now Cheryt. I've had a couple minor setbacks this month, as losing my ability to go to PT and such, but otherwise, I'm doing pretty well. I haven't felt this strong in 10 years, and inside I feel pretty well. I have noticed though the real cold weather that we are starting to get is a downer. Funny really, because it is only in the 40's and 50's, which isn't overly cold compared to what it will be. So I need to work on that, and fix my issues with that.

This pity time you speak of, how does it help? Maybe it is just me being me, but isn't crying about something that happened 6 months ago still harboring feelings that should be letting go? I'm doing my best to let go, and forgive her, and all that, and for the most part I have. Aside from these lonely cold days, I don't even think of her, which I think is wonderful. I don't want to dwell on it, nor do I want to be pining for her I guess is the way I would put it. She made her choices, and I am going to have to live with them, whether I want to or not.

That really has been the mindset for the last couple months, and has seemed to work out pretty well. I have been seriously motivated to lose weight, also seriously motivated to improve my strength the best I can within the confines of my illness, and have been doing my best to be active and enjoy life again. Honestly, I'm scared that it will fade with winter, and that what I felt the other day on the 12th, is going to be a constant thing again. Not looking forward to that if that be the case.

Pity time helps because you have feelings inside of you, and you need to let them out. It's not so much feeling sorry for yourself or pining for her. It's more about acknowledging that you have these feelings (feelings are never bad), and letting them out. When you have a good cry you let them out. When we stuff feelings inside, they get out in other, sometimes negative ways. There's nothing wrong with being sad because a relationship is over. You felt love for someone, and now that someone is gone. It's OK to be sad about it, and there is no timetable for getting over something like that. Even though I left my STBX over a year ago, I still have the occasional down day. He has issues, and I feel sorry for him. Sometimes it gets to me, especially when we have any kind of contact. I know I have to stay strong for myself and the kids, and that leaving was the right thing to do. But I do feel bad about it occasionally, and if I have to I walk my dog and have a good cry. I don't consider it pining, I consider it healing. Those times don't happen nearly as often as they used to. I've let them out.

Good for you for doing something positive in trying to lose weight. Exercise really releases the endorphins and makes you feel better all around.

I know you will do just fine. Keep busy and it is a NEW YEAR coming and out with the old. The past is just that. Proud of how good you are doing. I knew it.. I believe a congrats are in order for you. whoop whoop..