You may feel that no one would care, but it's not always as it seems. You'd probably be surprised about how many people care. As someone left after the suicide of a loved one, I know how many people can be devastated by a person's death. If you're truly as lonely as you say, it's time to change that. Get out there and live your life, because if there is even one person that loves you they don't deserve the pain of loss. Please get help before you do something drastic. Even if you have no one, that doesn't mean you're not worth loving. Maybe this is an opportunity for you to find yourself and the people who can truly love you. Your ex isn't worth the pain he's putting you through.

Peppe - I understand...I too have no one but it does get easier. My ex left me for his mistress in July and our divorce was final in October. My family lives 5 hours away, most of my friends live even further away (I am in Texas, they are on the east coast). I don't even have the company of co-workers as I have worked remotely from home since 2009. Hang in there...you will get through this.
You are never truly alone as the peeps here on DS are here when you need us.

Sounds like a beginning more than an end.

What would you recommend to someone who told you your story?

And I am alone also. And sometimes I wonder who would notice/care if I dropped off the face of the earth but there is always someone. As long as you hang here, you are not alone.
Sounds like many a story I have read here and is so similiar to mine.
Ex leave for mistress. Mine left over the holidays so they serve as a reminder but I cling tight to the friends i have made at work. and do not be suprised that no one calls.............some things folks just do not know how to handle and better you just confide in one. Do you see a therapist? Great help!

try and hang in there.
For now your furry children need you and in time you will make new connections with people.
one day at a time. One cry at a time.
wake up another morning and hang in there

Hugs to you

Peppe,

I have been here for years too and I must apologize, I guess we have never crossed paths. I am very sorry this has happened but, if he has had a girlfriend for 12 years, it sounds to me your marriage actually ended 12 years ago. I have been through a divorce and it is not the end of the world. I got out with my guns, my motorcycle and what clothes I gathered up when I left. She got the truck, the house, the kids, all the furniture, my tools, and my other car. Life does go on and you can make a better life for yourself. It appears you have no children so, in many ways, this makes a divorce a lot less stressful and entangling,

I am always here.

Peppe, I'm sorry for your situation, I don't know you, I don't know how much you are hurting, I understand that there is not much more that you can take.
But you are not a taker, you are in the giver's column, sometimes giver' s get taken advantage off and taken from.
You are not a taker, so taking your own life just doesn't fit.
And the world has some good people in it. Those good people need people like you to keep kindness in the world.

Please hang in there. You can get through this. I am sending you so many positive thoughts and will be thinking of you.

I am very sorry for you! I too find myself alone and facing that I will be single for the rest of my life. I have my kids, but other than that, no family. His family was my family and now they are back to being just his family. I am devastated, as you are, but I have been hurt before and now I can't even imagine having heartache over any of my ex's. It really does suck, but it gets better. Hang in there!

Honey - you lived just FINE before you met him and will be just right as rain after he's long gone. Maybe not today or right at this moment, but at some point you will see that twinkling light in the distance and realize that's YOUR future. It's there right now, but you aren't ready to see it. You'll see it and start that long trek towards it.

I completely understand. Not the 12 years part, but I do understand. And I , too, feel I have nothing left to live for. I'm trusting others who say it will get better. I cant believe it for myself yet either, but I also know my brain lies to me.

I too have no family. All my so-called friends tell me to do is "get over it" (because, they ALL had long term relationships and were married for a min of 5 years? NOT). I dont know what to say, but know you are not the only one going through this. That's what solidarity is all about. You have no one to cry on, to emote with, to share your life with. But there are people, all over the world, going through this. I cant say suicide is a bad option either, but remember that there are people, your spouse included, that would be hurt by it. You don't want more people to go through this, right? Just something I tell myself.

I am so very sorry for your situation. You say he is an abuser??
He had a girlfriend for 12 years?!
I honestly also think you are so much better off and I think if you give it a shot you will see that we are right.
I think you should focus on yourself. You need some self care. You need to do things for yourself that you enjoy. They're lots of things you can enjoy doing by yourself from walking your animals to taking a bubble bath, reading a good book, watching a favorite movie, going shopping. anything you enjoy. I live by myself and I lived with an abuser and I enjoy doing things by myself, than have him ruin everything.
You just can't depend on someone else to make you happy. You are the only one who can make you happy. You can only change yourself.
I would like to also suggest therapy. I have seen where there are very many people who say therapy has saved their lives.
I wish you the very best and that you can get on the road to healing.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((CHRISTMAS HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Peppe? No one deserves to be another's #2, let alone for 12 years. I say look at this as a new, beautiful, FREEING situation to start living the life you want, and finding the love you DESERVE. As hard as it may be starting over, and as much as your heart may be hurting now, please know that he isn't the man of your dreams and he proved that by starting a relationship with someone else 12 years ago. Someone who has your heart in their hands and does everything to protect it, they don't do what he has done.

Get pissed if you want to. Get fucking angry, but don't take it out on yourself. Let the sweet bells of freedom ring, Peppe. Claim your life for what it is, and what it can be. Something to be enjoyed. By the way, those sweet furry ones in your life? They will give you more love than you can imagine, but my guess is you know that. Let them help heal your wounds, until you get strong enough to see how amazing you are and how much that POS ex never deserved your love from the get-go. Hold steady. Stay strong. And lean on us and your animals whenever you need to and when you don't feel so strong.

Shit days, along with shit people come and go...that's the hard truth about life. But from this day out, you get to choose which direction you take. I say head for the sun...the light...and anywhere happiness is. Stay with us...we've all suffered and made it through relationships that made it feel the world was ending. But its not ending...and many of us are here and still standing as proof of that. You can and will make it through this. ((((Peppe))))

Hi Peppe - it was not too long ago I VERY STRONGLY felt like you do -
After he talked me into us not having children, he left me for a woman with three of her own.
I came home to an empty apartment, but my two furry girls were waiting for me by the door every day. There were days I thought about driving off a bridge or into oncoming traffic. But then they would be waiting for me by the door and I would never come for them.
If I didnt have to feed them, I wouldnt have gotten out of bed in the morning.
They probably saved my life.

Your furry ones are the same. They need you and they love you. As alone as you feel, you are never truly alone if you have pets. They understand better than most people realize and are so good at empathy. Let them love you and make you better.

So many of us know your suffering and struggle with the same ...

I've tried so many ways to find meaning in what seems to be a life of no future.

My children are my greatest obstacle at this point as the loss of them is unfathomable.

Do you intend to kill yourself?

Do you have a plan?

The previous questions are critical and I ask them because I do care. It might sound trite but you are not alone in suffering and in an odd way I care very much about the stranger on the receiving end of this.

Please do your best to answer the above questions. If you are intent on harming yourself you owe it to yourself to at least explore your plans with someone.

Thank you