Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
First off I'd like to say hi to everyone. I woke up this morning and decided I need to find someone who may be walking in my shoes right now and knows how I feel. I left my husband 2 years ago and we had an off and on relationship up until about 8 months ago. He finally told me he didn't love me anymore, he didn't want to work things out, and for me to move on. So I did. I've been dating a guy for about 7 months and he is terrific. He's everything I could have asked for and amazingly perfect but I miss my husband. For the past 2 weeks I've done a lot of crying, laying in bed, and I just feel terrible. I'm crying as I type this. My husband has moved on he's actually playing the field and seeing a few women. Maybe as friends or something more but I don't know. We have 4 beautiful children together and we will be going to court next month to finalize everything but this is not what I want. The marriage was very bumpy we've both made horrible mistakes and for the most part I think we made the right choice to separate but we have 15 years together. I don't know what's wrong with me because I was doing well up until about 2 weeks ago. Now I'm a mess. I don't want to hurt the new guy but I was honest with him about 2 days ago and told him I think I'm grieving for my husband and marriage. He's sort of hurt but I can't stop these feelings. I came here hoping someone could tell me how to cope or even what to do. I AM A MESS! Sorry for the long initial post.
My marriage was 19 years and I was still totally in love
she left me 18 months ago
I am suffering renewed grief and it is so hard every day....and makes it hard to be in a relationship
My girlfriend is very understanding...bless her
Just got to ride these waves and keep the therapy going and conscience efforts to see the positive in my life and believe in a good future
What happens to me a lot is that I'll be going along just fine and something will hit me and I'll all of a sudden be in a flood of emotions. It could be a conversation or some interaction or a situation that reminds me of some time in my marriage.
Seems like there are always layers to peel away. But I try to remember that once a layer is off that's one less to deal with! Baby steps. :)
Anyhow, leading up to it being finalized, I was an emotional basket case...I remember crying to my best friend wondering if I was doing the right thing. That day, my ex-husband and I went and had a beer after court...it was quite somber. I remember crying for several days.
Now, all that said, I can tell you the feelings ARE temporary. I would not make any drastic life altering changes during this time. Tell the man you have been dating you need a little breathing room but don't break up with him. Not yet. I say this because, as suddenly as the feelings come on...they go away. Although, of course, if you don't want to be with him, sure, don't stay but I personally suggest not making the choice just yet while your emotions are all over the place because you will feel differently after it is finalized.
It's the END, officially...of course it feels awful. But, it does get so much better.