Hi,

I started a relationship with a person at work. We have been seeing each other for about 8 years, he is a very nice person, but when he is drinking he is very unstable.  A few years ago, he pushed me down. He is quite a big person and I tell myself that he doesn't know his own strength but I am lying to myself. Anyway when he did that, I didn't speak to him for a few days, but because we are "friends" at work and I didn't want anyone know know what happened I forgave him and told him that if he ever put his hands on my in anger again that I would not be able to be with him.  Last week, he was drunk and got upset and pushed me down. My nephew was at my house and heard me fall down.  My nephew asked him to leave and he didn't instead made stupid comments about my nephews mother.  My nephew ended up hitting him several times until the neighbor had to come and stop him.   I'm upset with my nephew because of the violence, I know that he is protecting me, but I am still upset.  I am upset with my "boyfriend" for pushing me down and I haven't spoken to him since it has happened. I hate violence, I do miss my friend, I can't really look at my nephew and I don't have anyone to talk to.

its just an arrg situation, I haven't been able to eat, my stomach is in knots. I do love this person, but not when they are drinking, which they do all the time.  I know that they have issues that they need to take care of, I know that I cannot stop them from drinking, they have to do that themselves. I can't change them, I have to change myself and that is a very hard thing to do.  I find myself missing him during the day time because that is the only time that he is sober which is totally a sad thing to say.

Just wanted to write this down and maybe have some supportive feedback :) 

Thanks for listening or reading

SJ