Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am new and I just need someone to vent to. I want to give some background first. I have been in a 3year relationship.(2yrs online and 1year in person). We met online almost 14years ago. We have talked on and off but strictly as online friends before we started dating. A year ago I decided to move in with him. It was a huge decision considering it was to another state.(yes, I know it was a mistake and also very dumb). I trusted him and loved him and also was told by him that he wanted to get married and had a ring and everything. I seen that he was serious, so here I am a year later. When I arrived here I seen the jealousy almost immediately. We had our first fight on the second morning I was here. He accused me of looking at another man. I thought nothing of it and figured he was just being a "guy". I found out that he lied to me about having a ring but, also told me he wants to get married when we are financially stable. Slowly but, surely the verbal abuse started then I was completely shocked the first time he had ever gotten violent with me. He got jealous and choked me while I was on the bed . He got mad over seeing guy friends in my emails. Now, this was the second month I was here that the abuse started. I should have left when that first happened but, I didn't. Throughout all this year I have been with him there has been many abusive events that has happened. The last one was 3months ago. He hasn't done it in a while but, the verbal abuse still happens. He calls me fat, cunt,bitch, stupid, whore etc. Then he threatens me to kick me out on the street. I get so scared because I don't have any family or friends out here. Also, we live with him mom so I believe that's the only reason why he hasn't done as worse as he could have. he tells me to go back home when he's mad, I say "ok" because that's what I really want. When I tell him I'm leaving him, he gets so angry a threatens me. Then he trys to hug and kiss me saying he doesn't want to lose me. I just don't understand it...a part of me loves him but, I know I need to leave. We never have sex anymore and we barely even speak to each other the last month. All we do is fight . There is no Love or affection. Some nights I even sleep on the opposite side of the bed just to be away from him...I have alot of mixed feelings and idk what to think or do right now ..sorry this is so long but, thank you for taking the time out or your day to read it.
Plans, they also have therapy, legal and financial Assistance.
This guy sounds like an abuser get out safely. Learn all you
can And seek help, support and guidance. HUGS
Call your parents. Call your friends from back home. Beg for help.
Go to a women's shelter and see how they can help. Salvation Army, Catholic Social Services. Tell anyone. Talk to your GP even.
I did the whole long distance love affair thing, came down to be with him because he couldn't live without me. Well That did not go well. He was telling me what he would put up with before I even arrived, and my belongings were in a truck on the way to him and I had no choice but to hope it wasn't a bad sign.
It was.
If you can't get away, do what you can to get a job. And get money. Take whatever job you can. You have to get out. This won't end well. it never does.
Not your cat.. Take your cat somewhere for safe
keeping.
Call the cops on him, get to safety while you wait to
Fly out. Talk to the shelter people for ideas, help and
support. The most dangerous time is when you go to
Leave them. His mother being there only stops him to
a point if he is attacking you anyway. HUGS
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/physical-emotional-abuse
Whatever you do, please do not keep yourself in this situation. Believe that a lot of it is idle threats being used to fear you into staying. Walk on egg shells until the 30th if you have to and then just go and don't look back.
So if he offers to take you to work?? Go. And when you get there, you're going to tell your boss what's happened, and ask for help. Anything. Explain that you're going to have to do something drastic.
People are humans first and bosses second. Most guys will do what they can to help.
If he drives you to the airport? great. go.
Your job here is to get out of this alive. Okay? you ran the risk, you took this guy on faith, you've done no wrong but you've found yourself in crazyland.
And now you've got to play a tight game to get out of this. You've got to play through as they say in Golf. You are stuck with this game.
It was the making of me, and it'll be the making of you. Amazing how proud of yourself you will feel when you've got out of this and maybe got a year or two away from it. I admit it took me a while. But it's all good. You know what you're living with now, and that's half the battle.