Debbie,

I know what your going through. It is sort of an addiction in a sense. I have someone also that I cannot let go but I have tried to and doing my best to move on. Every time you think of going back to him, try and remember why he is bad for you. Each time you go back with him it will become harder and harder to break away, trust me. I am sending you strength and positive energy to make it thru your ordeal!

Every change I have made that means anything has been hard. Visualize being a strong, independent person. And how much you can respect and love yourself. Will it into reality. Just wondering, did the ‘rebound’ relationship give you a sort of confidence? Even though he’s the wrong fit. To be wanted? Could see that happening. If I get divorced I hope to work on myself for ‘a while’ I guess how long depends on alot. I hope you can find that strength. The relationship with ourselves has to come FIRST.

Oh this is so so hard, I do think it is almost like an addiction and he was your 1st safe place after your divorce. I’m sorry I hope you are ok!

I'm sorry:( I've been through this same thing a couple of times after my divorce. Ugh......it's so hard. One I thought I was really going to marry. We were together over 2 years, but it just didn't work. The pain was excruciating at times. I look to God for my strength and He gets me through. Try staying busy. Spend time with family and friends and do things you enjoy. It gets easier. @Brokenbridges is right. It's painful to think of how someone isn't right for you, but it does seem to keep our heads where they need to be. The heart is another story. I'm also at a crossroads right now with my current boyfriend. He hurts my feelings and flies off the handle but I'm terrible jealous of him spending any time with other woman, like going to lunch with co-workers. I know I have got to work on this. He suggested counseling which I am all for, so we'll see. We have our faith in common, the kids like each other and it's really painful to think of moving on. Best wishes to you, and strength. (((hugs)))

From the way you describe the guy you are better off without him. And I know you don't want to hear that, and I know it hurts. I just left the man I loved because he cheated on me for the 2nd time and it is SO hard! If he came back and told me he was sorry and wanted another chance (which is what he did last time) I really think I would fall right into his arms, even though I know in my heart he'd just hurt me again eventually. I think the only way I can get through it is to cut off all communication with him, and I'm doing that, but it's torture--I don't know how many times a day I pick up the phone to call him, or send him an email or text, but I can't let myself do it. It's so hard and so painful, and I feel like a huge piece of me is missing. I know it's not really helpful advice, but you just need to hang in there and be brave for yourself