You rock SAM good going on the therapy
Appointment. I coped during the separation
And divorce i had to. Now that i am no contact
I dont know how i will behave when i do see him.

You should be okay its all frame Of mind. You are
fighting for your financial future With your lawyer
by your side. Keep up the good Fight. I saw my ex
daily too usually from a distance so I had to numb
up and just get thru it. He was always in and out of
The house when i was gone. We just did not live
Together. HUGS

Just remember to be calm and collective during the whole thing and you will come out ahead.

How much do the attorneys talk and how much does the couple talk? Do the attorneys basically run the whole show?

Talking: attorneys vs couple - I think it depends on very much on what is being discussed and on the personalities involved. If you would like your attorney to do most/all of the talking, then tell him/her beforehand. That is part of what you are paying them for.

I hated the attorney meetings with my now-ex during the divorce, even though I am a strong-willed guy and I had ALL my shit together, way more so than her. It was just so uncomfortable. But you get yourself mentally geared up and you do it. And then it's over. Again, lean on your attorney as much as you need to and let him/her know what you need by way of support.

The attorneys will likely run the show, but they will defer to the couple for details along the way. Whatever is in contention between you - try to prepare to discuss it. Have facts and figures ready. Preparation will also give you confidence. You can do this! Good luck!

It was really hard. Lots of good advice here. What help for me is that I wrote down my three most impt things I wanted... Although it was really just one thing... Decision-making power cover the kids. I red that piece of paper everyone before going into a conversation and I kept laser focused on it. I filtered everything thru achieving those objectives. That way I didn't get swept up into arguing about things I didn't care about.

Know what you want
Stay focused
Listen to your lawyer
Don't "offer" anything... Make him ask.

I'm a "softie" - want everyone to be happy and I want to be "fair. But what is fair when he has cheated on me and destroyed my family? I had to fight myself not to offer him concessions he hadn't asked for. I am really proud of this thought as I ended up with a great settlement.

You can do this! I have discovered these things are never as bad as I imagine them to be. I do not have any experience in this scenario, but I would think the less you say, the better....unless you are specifically addressed. Of course speak up if you lawyer is saying you agree to something you don't agree too. Take notes. I'm thinking maybe you will get breaks in order to discuss things with you lawyer in private. My concern is letting the other side see you anxious over any thing and might pick at that. If he says anything negative about you do not return the insult, that way he's the one who looks like the ass.

Thank you all! I am heading out for my meeting now and I am feeling pretty good. I will update you all later. :-)