So my husband of 3 years (together for 7 total), packed up everything and left.  I will admit, it has been an emotional rollercoaster from day one.  We were really good friends in flight school.  He is in the Navy and I am in the Air Force.  I refused to date him because he didn't want a relationship, didn't want to date anyone in the military and didn't want long distance (and yet he still asked me out after telling me these things).  We were long distance for 4 years (I was in Arkansas, Alaska and even California as he was in Florida then Washington).  We would see each other once a month at least (whenever we could). 

Then when I went to Alaska and he to Washington (a year/year and a half into our relationship) he deployed to Japan and re-evaluated our relationship every month (it was like clockwork).  I would send him carepackages and called him room phone (he wasn't answering his cell too much).  I was trying to show him how much I cared for him.  He then told me that when he was coming back that we would be breaking up (he was 100% going to break up with me).  I told him he could do it to my face.  His friends said that this was how he acted that he truly did love me but this was him.  I showed up and we were ok.  Things went back to normal.  As I moved from Alaska, we went to visit his family again.  We missed a parade due to my master's that i was taking (two quizzes I had to take) and his family was so mad.  His dad literally started pointing and screaming in my face. My husband (boyfriend at the time) got off the car and pushed his dad away (which I didn't think about it was actually aggressive to act this way towards a family member).  I convinced my husband (again boyfriend at the time) not to leave and that we will work it out. 

I then was in California and he was in Washington.  We again had our ups and downs.  When he deployed again, same thing as before and this time he was blaming me for him not doing well at flying.  Apparently my past relationships were affecting him and for some reason he held onto these (yes I will admit my ex and I prior to my husband did try and be friends since we were better friends than dating and he was helping me literally study on my birthday when my husband showed up at the door to impress me - I was not dating either person but my husband never let this go).  I even found out that my husband was dating another girl at the beginning of our relationship (he told me 8 months after we were already together...I almost left him then).  Apparently him dating another girl was not as bad as me dating no one but my ex answered the door.  So frustrating and literally I had a flight exam the next day.  Deployment with him was the same again.  We then again were somehow doing really well.  Prior to the 2nd deployment, his parents flew out to see me and their son so that we could all spend time together in California.  His dad started to yell about wanting to take his car to Tahoe and I had a 4wd vehicle.  I stood up for myself and from that point on...his dad insisted I was a terrible influence (I never expected to ever be a terrible influence). 

After he got back, we were still together and we were talking about the future.  He proposed and had everything planned out.  We then got married at a court house a year later (just the two of us with a friend of mine was there because his family couldn't make it there).  We decided to have a ceremony later.  Right prior to us getting married in the court house, he freaked out about how he didn't know.  I stopped talking to him and then we finally got together to be married.

Then came marriage for 3 years.  He picked out our house in Florida (we finally got bases near each other) and we purchased the house together.  Then...every 3-6 months...if I would disagree, he would go from zero to 100 start pointing and yelling and would ask for a divorce and storm out of the house.  He would say the most awful things.  All I wanted was to plan our ceremony for our friends and family and to fix up the house a bit together and he insisted I wasn't independent (I have a job and work out regularly...I just wanted to hangout with him a bit).  His one friend help moved us in (due to my husband tearing his ankle...another story but it was one of those zero to 100 arguments and he ended up falling down the steps of our apartment when we were waiting to move into the house).  His friend later told me that my husband was very controlling with everything (which I didn't even notice).  That I was compromising on everything and that he told my husband just to give me one compromise and my husband would not.  But every 3-6 months for the last 3 years he said the worst things...I was unsupportive, a waste of his time, that if we had kids he would never want them to be like me, that if he loved me but wasn't in love with me, that he wanted to sleep with other women, that his parents didn't like me, that he didn't like my parents...over and over and apparently he now has to go off and make his millions in investments and can't do it with me.  Apparently, I am such a slacker (when he asked for the divorce and actually filed...I was working two additional side jobs - fitness and flight instructor - and that he couldn't be with me to make his millions).  I worked those two extra jobs because all he wanted to do was entrepreneurship and to invest (he is not a real estate agent nor is he educated in any sort of trade).  He is basically the middle person that finds the deals and uses other investor’s money to invest.  He doesn't want to use his own. 

I only found out he was moving out when I noticed things gone around the house and I questioned him on it.  He then stayed behind for one week packing as I cried the entire time. 

So right now I feel as if I cannot keep going.  It has been two months…and yet he is off visiting family and having a good time.  I am…just struggling…wondering why he actually left.

Why I think he is a narcissist…I didn't even know what one was until my counselor told me.  He kept asking why I would buy a new dress (I never questioned him on any of his purchases), his zero to 100 behavior yelling and placing blame on me for everything, the emotional rollercoaster…the never being enough and no matter what I tried…nothing changed…at all.  I just kept walking on egg shells.  But honestly...he wasn’t bad all the time.  The beginning was amazing. He wrote me love letters and everything was truly amazing then it just changed and I was blamed…we were geographically separated and yet it was still my fault for him not doing so well with pilot.  I just don't get it.  And then packing up and leaving after 7 years...not even a second look.  I begged him each time he mentioned divorce or he wanted to break up with me to come back. 

Any advice?? Any help?