Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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My wife's online affair has torn us apart.

homelessmanshoes
homelessmanshoes

I'm new to this group just looking for some support and advise I guess. My wife and I are currently living apart, she says that she is just unhappy, but I found out that she had been having an online affair with a guy much younger than us who lives on another continent. We have 2 kids and have been together for 13 years, married for 5. She told me that her relationship with this guy is "sexual" even though I know it all online, it feels like she is trying really hard to push me away. She refuses to stop talking to this guy and go to therapy. As of. Ow we have been living apart for 1 month. I am still hopeful that she will come back, and that this is some kind of early midlife crisis(she is 31). She met this guy on an online kareoke app, and she says she's in love with him. She has chosen him over me and our family. I know our marriage wasn't perfect and neither am I but I have always worked really hard to provide for her my daughters. I have always treated her with respect, but she retreated into this kareoke app and built a whole world of friends and stopped talking to me or any of her real life friends. I don't know how to deal with the loneliness of this. I know I deserve to be treated better but I cannot get over the thought of not being there for my daughters every night. I'm just feeling disheartened and sad for my girls. They deserve the stability of having their mom and dad there all the time not just half each... it feels kinda nice to just vent! Thanks fo reading.

Ghostdancer
Ghostdancer
Venting is good and some replies may help with your direction. Blessings
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
Well to start working on you guys she has to want that and for sure not be doing anything on side. You can only work on yourself and being a wonderful father. It's not always our say when a relationship doesn't work.
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
You said you are hopeful she will come back? Did she leave... and did she take your girls? if she left you and the girls, God forbid, but down the line that would put things in your favor concerning custody negotiations.

The grass is always greener. Something different is often more tempting. It may just take time for her to come to realize that although that isn't fair to you or your girls. Have you or any of her friends or family actually spoken with her about what this is doing to you and your family?

Serenityspeaks makes a good point.... you can only focus on you and being a good dad. But I would also let her know if I was willing to work on your marriage (and hope she may be again soon too.) My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
justbreathing
justbreathing
I’ve said this on here many times, but once a party wants out of a marriage, what’s the point in wanting them back? Once they’re checked out, they’re checked out. It will never be the same again, and they will always act superior in the relationship because now they “gave you one more chance”. Really, smh. In the end it’s all up to you, but I thought I was holding on to the marriage for the kids. I tried my hardest for 2 years, but I was the only one trying because my ex has already moved on. His heart was not in it. Now we are at the end of our divorce process. I didn’t think I was going to make it through alive, but I did, and I am so so so much at peace now. And happier. It will take time but it will eventually happen for anyone who is going through a breakup. You will make it out alive and as a much happier and stronger person.
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