Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi, I am new in all of this. I have never reached out to any support groups for anything in my life, but now I just don't know what to do.
I met my wife at college and since then it was love at first sight. She was with another person during that time but what we felt was so intense she ended up leaving him to be with me. We were so happy the next years until she decided to move to the USA to keep her Greencard (I am from Spain and we met there). We tried the long distance relationship, where she first came to the USA and then I would go, but that year she felt a huge depression for not being able to find a job and some rejection from her step-family. I decided to give up everything I had in Spain, my job, my family, my friends, to be with her. It was difficult for me to adapt to a new culture with barely anybody I knew there, but I was happy because I could finally be with her.
Because of that depression, our intimate relationship got worse, she wasn't ready to be with me and I stopped trying. Then I had a surgery in the eye that killed my self-esteem, so since then our intimate relationship was less and less passionate every time. However, our relationship was always good, we argued a few times but never to the level of insulting or recriminating anything, always supporting us and being sincere to each other. Before the pandemic we moved to another city in the US, so it was like starting from scratch again. But the pandemic happened and that impacted me so I didn't want to go outside because of fear. My wife, however, can't stand being inside the house so that's where our biggest differences started to show. I was always on a negative attitude that affected her and she told me but I never wanted to listen until it was too late. She started to go out with her friends and ignoring me and it was then when I realized that I was doing some things wrong and I wanted to change and show her that. We argued about that and she kept telling me that she loved me and we will always be together, she just needed some time to disconnect.
But none of it was real, she said she thought it through and she wanted to end the relationship. She said all of those things because she was trying to convince herself but didn't work out. She said that she only sees me as a roommate and there are small things in life that she feels she cannot enjoy with me. Everything that I realized I was doing wrong and wanted to change, I realized it too late... I am devastated, I don't have anyone in my area that I know because my job is remote so I didn't have a chance to meet anyone during the pandemic. I gave everything for her and now I don't have anything and don't know how to get out of this tunnel... I don't have the strength to get out and do new things. I am an introvert person and I don't know how to start a conversation with strangers unless they approach me first. Every video, article that I saw to get over this always says to be with your friends and family and do new things. But I have neither friends or family here nor the strength or the ability to do new things...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
most of the people i work with aren't in the same state and sometimes even the same country.
I have a hard time pulling myself into social situations as well.
I recently started going to church since i found Jesus again. It helps with the loneliness to a point and i am still trying to build relationship and fellowship there with others.
It can be lonely. i at least have my son with me (adult son) and that helps but he works different shifts so we can't even have dinner together anymore.
Try to find things you are interested in and see where that leads you. Unfortunately COVID isn't going anywhere so you have to work around it.
you have made a great first step reaching out to us here on dailystrength. We are here for you to try to help you through this process. I don't work for dailystrength but have been on here off and on for a very long time.
I say this not to hurt you, but to hopefully give perspective on what is the reality that you are dealing with - and to make sure you take her off that pedestal that men often put women on. I'm guilty of all this in the past myself (and now divorced 7 years, and also engaged with a new woman).
It's certainly possible that you made some mistakes, and maybe the pandemic affected you in a more extreme way than some other people. But statements like this:
- she said she loves you
- but she needs to disconnect
- she sees you as a roommate and wants to end the relationship
That is classic cheating stuff, and what is even worse - I haven't heard of any woman coming back from such a position. Once they "fall out of love" with you, it's usually permanent. Similar verbiage and crap from my ex, and much of what I have read on this site for 7 years.
My advice to you is to prepare yourself - legally, psychologically - for divorce. Also, begin to try to figure out what are your best steps forward - assuming your marriage ends, where do you invest your time and effort? Job, hobbies, etc. Look for a healthy path forward. Try to make social connections. I am also an introvert and at the time of my divorce I had been so overwhelmed with work/childcare (young daughter)/house maintenance that I was not really socializing with anyone aside from my brother. I had become mostly cut off from the world. It's tough to climb out of that hole. But it can be done once you accept the reality of your situation and decide to make changes. Worst case scenario, you could move back to Spain! But think about what is best for you going forward.
I wish you all the best and I can say from my own experience that life WILL get better!