Anyone go thru this situation? My wife and I have been together for 8 years and married for 3years, we have no children of our own but she does have one from a previous relationship. When we got together he was only 3 years old and now is 10, I have raised this boy as if he were my own and learned to love him. Before getting with my wife I told myself I could never get with a woman who had children, but one doesn't tell the heart what it wants and I fell in love with both of them so this is why my story is hard. Recently as 3 weeks ago my wife told me she did not love me anymore, that day was the most heartbreaking day of my entire life. I'm not gonna sit here and lie and say we had a perfect marriage, no we didn't but I believe our problem was a lack of open communication, anytime a problem arose we went to different rooms and 30-40 minutes later one of us would apologize and brush the issue under the rug and that was it no more talking about the problem. I openly admit that I cheated on my wife, not in the sense that I had sex with another woman but I talked to a woman I met on facebook and asked her for pictures, I don't know who the woman was and never met her in person, I'm too much of a chicken to act on something like that. Not trying to justify my actions at all even though it may seem that way but my wife became distant at the time and was not allowing me to hug her, hold her, or even kiss her. What I did was inexcusable and I owned up to my infidelity, I didn't try to lie to her about it and told her the exact same thing. After crying to her and apologizing to her she said she could forgive me but that it would take time to earn her trust, which I knew was a given, she said to me that day that she didn't get into this marriage to call it quits so easily so I knew that I was going to have to work hard to earn her trust back. After 6 months of me trying my hardest to be a good man I discover that she herself had signed up for match.com, put a personal ad for dating 4 years prior to us getting married and I discovered that she was talking to some guy on facebook and he was asking her for pictures, and it seemed as though she would have if I would not have intervened and told the guy off. Again we had a discussion, I told her here I'd been trying to earn your trust for the last six months and you go and do the same, which I had already faulted and committed the same act which I really couldn't get mad about but finding out that she had put herself online in a dating ad 4 years before we got married made me upset. She begged me crying that she didn't want to lose me and that again she didn't get into a marriage to call it quits so easy. So I told her I could look past all that and try to make things work. All that happened a year ago and I believed things were going well until one day 3 weeks ago she surprised me with "I don't love you anymore", she claims to have been trying since christmas to make it work but never did she say a word to me or ask to discuss our problems with me, she grabbed some clothes and took off with my stepson to one of her friends house. My stepson goes to be with his real father every summer so he's not here to see all the drama. She told her friends about our problems instead of her own husband, when asked why wouldn't you discuss the issues with me she stated that maybe she didn't want to work them out at the time. She tells me that she feels like my roommate, we hadn't been intimate in months and she states that couples don't do that. I tried to explain that couples talk about there problems and a marriage is not solely about sex. Before this all happened I was planning on taking a trip to a convention and visit a real good friend for 5 days, since she popped the surprise on me I said I wasnt going to go but after sitting and thinking I decided I needed to go and clear my head. Well after getting back from my trip I discoverd my wife had used my absence to get about 75% of her clothes but she left pictures some clothing and personal items, she left all of my stepson's clothes behind though. I was intially upset because of how she went about it, seemed as it was the cowards way out. I'm not in any way claiming to be perfect, I know I have my faults. I know that I could have helped around the home more often, I know that I made her promises to fix things around the home and never did. Also I'm a big guy so she tells me that she's been on birth control over a year because she doesn't want to raise 2 children on her own because she woke up one day with me dead next to her. I understand now that I should have taken better care of myself, but is it ok for my wife to be on birth control and not tell me? After finding all her clothes gone I called her to meet with her and she tells me the only reason she showed up was because she thought I was going to call the police on her for getting her stuff, I asked her "In 8 years that we've been together you really think I would do something like that", I need to make clear that I once jokingly told her that If we ever separated I'd be spiteful which was me being a smartass, but even when she popped the surprise on me I told her "I know I told you I'd be spiteful, but that was me being a smartass, I could never do that to you" and for her to think that really hurt me. After meeting with her I tried to plead my case, I offered to go to marriage counseling with her but she doesn't want to, she says she doesn't wan to go to some stranger to be judged, which I think is perfect because your friends and family are only going to tell you what you want to hear. Well I tried hugging her and she was pushing me away, well I have family on her facebook and now she's saying that I tried to hit her which is a total lie. When I talked to her about this today she tells me that I have changed and that she was scared of me and she thought I was going to hit her. I've always told her that I was raised to never lift my hand to a woman and I told her I would never do that to her because she was in an abusive relationship before me. For her to think that I would lay a hand on her really hurts! I also asked her if she was talking to someone and she told me that she was, that she was talking to some guy she worked with but that she was not romantically involved and that she told him she wasn't trying to be in a relatioship. Stupid me thought didn't ask to clarify what kind of talking they were doing? She told me while I was gone that she had gone seen a lawyer and started the divorce process, well I pleaded for her to put it on hold and she said that she would, but after what she's done I don't know if she just told me that to shut me up. I know after doing research that for the divorce she has to wait 60 days so that may be what she's doing, I don't know. I asked for her to move back in and we could do the friend thing since she told me all she could offer me right now was only frienship, she doesn't want to be under a roof with me right now. She's giving me mixed signals, she had told me she doesn't know what she wants and wants to see if she can make it on her own. I paid all the bills and the only thing she paid was her car note which is under my name. So after 3 weeks of no communication with me she texted me asking for help with the car note since she was behind, first she tells me she wants to make it on her own and now she wants my help, it's all so confusing. Then this morning she calls at 6am asking me if she's still on my insurance because she needs to go to the doctor, I tell her yes. I love my wife very much still but why is she sending mixed signals? I would take a bullet for my wife and stepson and not being with her hurts, also I don't believe she's telling her friends the whole story and making me to be the bad guy or am I wrong, I'm so hurt right now that I don't know which way is up or down, I cry myself to sleep every night. Any feedback is welcome.