"Please do not let your Memories Dictate what your Ruture Holds."

Since I need to take my own advise,.. I thought it might be a good idea to fix my spelling error:

"Please do not let your Memories Dictate what your Future Holds."

rman, what if you said them out loud. do you think that would help. Sometimes when you keep them in and never speak of them they are really worse than they are.

They are part of your building blocks. Is Tampa as nice as they show it on tv?

My only goal in life is to take a nap...with a woman...
naked

well you were in a dream (although a supporting role - sorry_ and *I* was asleep at the time, does that count?

Rman,

I have a terrible past. Drugs, alcoholism, Biker gangs, fights, being stabbed, beaten, hit by a car, shot at by police, broken bones, a bullet hole in my leg, my tongue almost severed twice, a divorce, lost everything in a house fire and a loss of a son. The past is passed. You can't change it, you have no guarantee of tomorrow so, live for today as a gift. If we dwell on the past, it will rob us of the happiness of today.

I have tried to make amends where I could and to show that I am not the same person I was back then. Some accept me as I am now, some remember me as I was then and will never forgive. I accept their feelings and opinions but, I do not let their feelings and actions dictate to me how I live my life now. Change what you can if you can, amend what things you can, and let the rest of it go. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured my friend.

I've been in a similar situation rman. Stuff comes out of pandora's box, stuff that you had stuffed in there for a damn good reason. Unfortunately, there is no healthy way to stuff it back in. You could numb yourself for the rest of your life, but I'm not trying to live life like that. So deal with it...reintegrate those memories back into your life.

My past only smacks me in the back of the head when I let it.

The reality is... it's done. There's no re-do, the events have occurred, Like OB said... you can attempt to make amends, or not do what you did before... that's it.

if you were in Tampa- you shouldve told me :)

when you hold things in they turn into gas, which eventually can kill you if you hold it in for too long. Open that door, air it out and let it go. The sins of yesterday will continue to haunt you if you continue to feed them with power.

Fart, baby.

You can't change the past Rman, but you can learn from it. I suspect most people have something in their past that they wish they could erase, but we can't. I don't think you can ever block the past, my goal it to be at ease with my past. By that I mean understand what I did wrong and try not to repeat it.

My recommendation is still the same Mr-Calm-Saintly-Dad man.

You used to have a younger life full of risk and adventure and drama and adrenaline. Then you got married, straightened out, settled down, became your idea of normal and good parent material.

Your life doesnt have to self-destruct if you let those white knuckles holding onto the picket fence loose a little bit and turn your head towards some non-self-destructive risk, adventure, drama or adrenaline.

Everytime we talk or I read these threads I keep thinking of those body-mod types who bifurcate their tongues - except in my imagination they kept cutting until they were split right down the middle and then each half grieved over the loss of the other.

Integrate.

What you resist, persists.

The secret is integration.

You can definitely block memories for a certain amount of time...i have done that. But I think they come back to you when you are ready to process them. Sometimes one at a time (if you're lucky) and unfortunately sometimes all at once. I have sometimes been able to reblock them by refocusing my thoughts on other things, over and over. I wish there was some way to erase them.