If you "came across" multiple messages from a couple of females, it sounds like snooping. I can understand randomly running across a single text to a single contact, but finding messages to several females requires searching for them.

Yes, you violated his privacy.

Were they before you got together or after? Unfortunately you were looking for trouble and you found it...

How long ago were these text messages done, and what did they say? Were they cheating type messages? How long have you two been together?

This is a slippery slope. While I agree with Yard_eggs that it was snooping a bit much, if he is cheating on you then you needed to know this, even if it was by accident that you found out. And you'd have to leave him, so it's better to find this out now.

However, if they were innocent, non sexual, text messages, I guess just tell him you are sorry, you were wrong, and will he forgive you.

But just make sure that he isn't cheating first, because it seems by your post that he is. I wonder why he is THIS mad, and won't speak to you for 3 weeks if it was all so "innocent" what he was doing?

My wife periodically sees my phone and I do hers. He's likely mad because there was something wrong with the calls and he decided to counterattack. You're entitled to an explanation to go forward.

You should not snoop, unless you feel the need to end it.
Be forward and honest. if we attack those we love they will counter attack.
If you give people ultimatums, they will take them.
You need to know the context before you confront. Timing and concern.
They they were before(so what) and nonsexually if current the so what.

You failed to give us enough information to give you full advise, but as we see if he knew about the messages were on his phone and he let you use it. So yes snooping is wrong.

Hi unlucky,

Private rights represent that a person is entitled to exercise as an individual, such as ownership and enjoyment of the property. As you tell that your bf agreed to lend you the use of his phone (with temporary terms attached) for awhile. No, you did not violate his privacy by viewing the phantom messages. It is true that his personal messages are not open to the public for view. However, he understood that you were not familiar with how to use his phone at the time he loaned it, and he should have at that point offered to educate you, yet he left the situation observable on a passing glance, which is what happened and drew further interest with his phone.

I am so sorry that you are suffering from this disagreement. However, he gave up private control of his phone willingly, which determines that he gave you permission to go over his ground, so to speak. Look at it this way: I have a neighbor who has an important appointment of which matter involves formal attire. This person asks for the use of my closet to pick appropriate clothing for the occasion. I say, "Help yourself!" Later I find this person used the key to my treasured box of favorite jewelry, which disappoints me. Yet I did tell to take liberty while going through my closet. Then, had I foreseen that she would do this thing, I would have prevented it, still by not thinking ahead she gifted herself with just my simple approval. Had I before warned her not to bother the box of locked treasures then she would have violated my instructions by going through my private stash without my approval or permission granted.

Understand what I mean? It really is a matter of the exchange of words between you and your bf. Had he warned you not to peek at his private messages, then you would have broken a code of privacy. Yet the terms of use appears to be that you were to freely use his phone for a short while.

I don't know how I feel about this thread. People her are bashing her for snooping. Maybe she shouldn't have looked at text messages. But you know what if you have nothing to hide who cares? He gave her his phone. He had to know it could happen, same as if you give someone your phone and they scroll though photos.

I find his reaction the more interesting. Instead of talking and saying hey don't do this again or I feel uncomfortable. He got mad and stopped talking. That's never very mature and kinda looks like something to hide.

Now onto unluckylover question - it's hard to say. You can apologize for going though his phone. But you do need to talk about the other females. There isn't enough info her to decide. I have a lot of female friends and get lots of text. But I let who I'm with know. If he's mad and trying to hide something, than something else is going on. Your heart hurts because you feel rejected. But think it though and make sure you miss him for the right reasons.